GorGeoUs

complicated.

2009-04-05T19:48:00.000-07:00

pfffbbt.

tmr off day but no plans. how?

Mr bf has since started office hours work where he could only get sat and sun off and not like the usual shift work (2days off, 2days work) where i could request to be off on the same day as his rest day.

which means that there's lesser chance of spending perfect day out together unless i request for a weekend off. or both weekends rather. which is like difficult to get lah. cos people fighting to get weekends off what rite. haiz. i miss you ah dear.

then lidat can strike off the whole lot of my requests which was pre-requested till the month of august in the request book lah. cos they don matter anymore. and i need to plan out my off days well. make use of that SEVEN days off per month wisely. if not wasted sia off days takde plans then puas hati datang balek keje. haizz so irritating.

then pulak my buddies are mostly nurses which have schedules that dont fit mine. either they are on pm shift when its my rest day or im on night when they are totally free. this makes my life difficult cause im starting to miss them and im longing to meet them but work got in the way. i wun even think of taking MC or leave cos the current manpower like cannot make it siaa. put a stop to all the HL/MC/FCL or for watever reasons can? unless its really unavoidable. we nurses should aim to take good care of our health. later one fine day one of us is gona be called back to work padehal we deserve that rest day. for sure nobody wants that to happen.

the point is, i dont wana miss out on my social life. i lost the chance to have a complete (full attendance) gathering with my ex-jps frens TWICE cause i was out working nite shift. some of whom ive not spoken to since 1998. and its sad when i got invited only days before the meet-up. and its like they expecting me to try to make it. the only option i have left is to turn them down, yet again. due to my pattern-less working schedules.

haiyah.

to all dear friends out dere, if there are any events/activities that u all have planned out, be sure to lemme know the dates a month in advance. so that i can request early. cause thats how the roster works. because i already know people like to ask e/o out spontaneously what rite. boring sey tiap kali clash. nyehs.

cant wait for my AL in 2weeks time! i can be a gym-freak again, or maybe learn cooking. maybe je. who knows.

random.

2009-03-20T10:07:00.000-07:00

nite shiftttttttt today.

shitty call bells.

lots of changing to be done.

malas malas malas!

mater dah takle angs!

bleahs.

random thoughts.

i just miss blogging lah.

ishhhhhh.

2009-02-28T02:20:00.000-08:00

Nisa is pissed that her favourite and new shimmer waves Body Shop blusher is broken into pieces!

and she don't know how it happened!

urghhhhh.

http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/569720/funny_angry_baby.swf" width="400" height="345" wmode="transparent" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash">

Funny">http://www.metacafe.com/watch/569720/funny_angry_baby/">Funny Angry Baby - video powered by Metacafe

I'm sooooo very agitated when it comes to my makeup products.

Oneness.

2009-02-25T06:33:00.000-08:00

I love you with all my heart;
I long for you when we're apart;

I wish I could wipe away all your tears.
Look you in your eyes and somehow take away all your fears.

I wish I could also take away your pain;
Love you in such a way that you will know you have everything to gain..

I want to take you in my arms and hold you ever tight.
Show you that you're the one I love with all my might..

I'm proud of you because you're the best.
There is no comparison to the rest..

Being with you makes my heart sing.
I believe together we could do anything..

**hugsyoudear**

Jaw Dislocation.

2009-02-24T08:02:00.000-08:00

the day didnt turn out as planned.

okay here it goes.....

met tica aka pendek earlier today. was planning to submit my La Trobe degree application form BUT my stupid nursing diploma graduation cert simply cannot be found anywhere in the house, so instead, we head down to NYP to get it re-printed out. sambil sambilan we took some fresh air walking around the areas that are NEWLY renovated ard the school. macam sials. mase-mase kite da terkluar dari skola baru nk upgrade la ni la tu la. posters sume baru-baru lah. hahaha. girls toilet dorang tak tukar jugak ke? hehehe. so was kinda aww-ed wen we saw the newly furnished koufu.

so anws, we went to vivo to catch a movie. why vivo? cause nad bacen is working at La Senza at vivo and i've been bugging her to get a discount and fortunately today she offered me half price for all items. only for TODAY. looking forward for that lah.hehe. Me, tica and neez (who joined soon after) watched " He's just not that into you," and i rate it 4/5 stars. it clearly show the TRUE reality of relationships and that all men (well most) think and behave alike. when a guy is interested in a girl, he will try his very best to HAVE HER. if he is not showing any signs, forget it. dont bother questioning wether he have any feelings towards you. if he has, he will SHOW them. if not, sayonara. haha...its really a nice movie lah...but its sad wen we dint catch the ending part of the movie. BECAUSE....

towards the end, tica handed her phone to me, asking me to read the text msg, in it, written "My jaw is locked." SIOW. i thought she was playing ard. but was shocked when i saw her with her mouth wide open and rather helpless facial expression. i guessed that she must have yawned before getting those jaw stuck and unable to move. me and neez pulled her out of the cinema and immediately went to Raffles medical Group at harbourfront to get her jaw fixed. IT WAS ALREADY CLOSED AT 8PM LAHH. office hrs pe xia? we den took a cab straight to SGH A&E while we waited for her turn. it was such a dragggg. though she cant express verbally, we could see that she was in extreme pain. restless in her seat, rubbing her jaw and forehead, almost in tears. she hand-signalled that it was aching and she has a headache as well. we waited anxiously while the doctor lead us to have her xray done wich took like FOREVER. the radiographer forced her to open her mouth as wide as she can. like pleaseeee. it hurts ardy in that position so wat do ya expect? then she had to wait for the xray results to be out before the Dr lead her to the close observation room for him to unlock her jaw.

waiting time while tahan-ing the pain with mouth wide open = close to 2 hours

time it took to unlock the jaw = less than 10 seconds.

WAH-LAO-WEY.

i told the doctors, while waiting for her TURN to get treated, are there any inta-muscular painkiller injections that she can get, he said, "OH DEFINITELY." but in the end, she tahan all the way through lahhh! haha....kesian seh pendek....we were so worried for her, ignoring the fact that our stomach was growling so badly due to hunger. but thank God she is okay. :)

by that time it was already 11pm and only Cheers was opened. we grabbed some tidits and neez ate her instant fried rice like crazyyy. tica was obviously very thirsty and her mouth felt numb. by 1130pm, we head home...

din expect all this to happen. i missed out on the 50% discount at La Senza offered my nad, we missed out on the ending part of the movie, and our supposedly day out shoopping together turned out to be a trip to the hospital instead. hahaha...... glad ur okay gurlfren!

peace SHE'S OKAY! :))

Insomnia.

2009-02-17T06:13:00.000-08:00

Baby is having this problem lately.

his irregular working hours makes him difficult to fall asleep!

one day he works morning, the next day night shift.

and the pattern continues consecutively.

so basically he need to TRY to sleep in the daytime for a day

AND nightime for another.

teros takleh tdo langsung!!

and he ends up not having enough rest.

waking up every 2-3 hrs during each sleep.

so wat i told him was to switch off all lights and sounds in the room (including cats)

and make the bed as comfy as possible.

and also not to have a heavy meal before sleep but have a glass of milk instead.

tapi tak jalan jugak....

so today straight after his 14-16hrs of nite shift, we went out together.

he decided not to ride bike but we took public transport instead.

poor baby looked so tired that he slept 3/4 of the train journey to and fro.

kesian dia....

thinking that i was bored going out with him when he is all tired & sleepy,

he apologised afterwards for not making me have a good time.

but actually just for making the effort to spend time together

despite not having enough resting time for himself

is already very much appreciated.

always putting me above himself.

and thats why ily.

hopefully when he goes into office hours soon,

he will have a more REGULAR sleeping pattern....

till then, im thinking of ways to ensure that

he have atleast 8hours of uninterrupted sleep.

hmmmm.....

ridiculously inappropriate.

2009-02-12T04:11:00.000-08:00

I was drop dead tired and fell asleep unknowingly.

i was then awoken by an unusual and abrupt sms from a familiar person.

i was startled initially, but then became uneasy.

maybe just some accidental forwarded msg i thought, not till i saw my name.

"Teman. Di setiap sudut dia hadir. Pada setiap masa, dia hadir bersama dlm suka dan duka...Teman ku, nisaaini, akan ku berjanji, akanmu menjadi temanku buat selamanya.."

this may be just a simple friendship msg one C.L.O.S.E friend/bestie can send to another.

but its not that simple when its from someone whom i just regard as an acquantaince.

and we are NOT even close friends because we have not met for years.

so that explains why im startled. okay, maybe just felt that its abit ridiculous.

is this one of your ways for asking me out? just like the previous chains of smses?

if it is, you can count me out. even if u decide to have me as a friend.

reality check;

i've closed my chapter on us and

there's reasons why

we are not meant to be with e/o.

delightfully entertaining.

2009-02-10T00:35:00.000-08:00

DAMN!!

today was a helluva tough day!

MESS! MESS! MESS!

procedures! procedures! procedures!

(dumb2) DRS rushing us all the time!

SUPER LONG LISTS OF ORDERS from them!

making phonecalls everywhere!

nyonya's panjat2 katil!

callbells ringing like nobody's business!

do-not-disturb-me faces all around!

i was RUNNING EVERYWHERE with my sprained ankle!

MEM-BING-IT-KAN LAH!

but then....

i stumbled across a fren's vids in youtube..

thought he was jus playin and goofing ard..

but the songs totallly CHEERED ME UP LA!

his full-of-expression face (eyebrows tak berubah2 siak)

and unique voice mcm sedap jgk dgr.

THANKS AH!~

entertaining~!

ROCK ON SAIPOOOL!

*for more of his covers, type MIKAH LUFIAHS in youtube. :))

sprained ankle.

2009-01-26T15:21:00.000-08:00

was on my way home after PM shift and dad fetched me home as usual. as i got down from dad's lorry, i accidentally tripped and fell! my whole body weight was on my left ankle and i felt it got twisted. struggling to get up, i saw mum rushed back to grab hold of me. dad got down the lorry and immediately carried me to a sitting place under our block.

both legs felt like jelly. i tried my very best to act and walk like normal....but i cant. it was cold and windy, sending shivers down my spine. in my nursing uniform, i cried as dad tried to massage my ankle. there were passers-by and i was tearing. how embarassing.....

my parents rushed me to grandma hse where i am in for more torture. my atuk siap ngan sireh and kunyit massaged my swollen ankle. pity the neighbours who had to hear me scream in the middle of the night... hurhur. afterwhich i felt slightly better ah.

had to take MC today bohpian ahhh. not sure how many days MC. i can barely walk. to think that i had sprained the same left ankle the THIRD time already. first two times was before my dance performances... hmmm... will visit the doctor later today to get my MC. wahhh STUPID NURSING SHOE LA. they should get it changed!!! i heard other nurses also got sprained ankles using that shoe!!

and to think that i had a DREAM of falling down from my dad's lorry, with my nursing uniform and sprained my ankle few weeks ago!!! it all happened just like in my dream siakkk! this year CNY so sway meh??

..................................................................................... =(

that pursuit of happiness.

2009-01-21T23:15:00.000-08:00

to my darling tiica...

funny how life is not how we planned it out to be...

nothing is certain but death and taxes...

feelings can never be forced and it happens naturally...

we can only expect the unexpected in life...

but not all unplanned situations are undesirable...

it can also lead to fairytale endings...=)

hope u have a blissful rlp with raihan yeah...?

and upon having to know that fateful news...

i know how it feels like being in your position...

straining all ties and diminishing all forms of trusts...

widening all boundaries and giving up hope...

the most affected ones are your parents...

how unacceptale the news can turn out for them...

be their tower of strength and provide endless support...

as you know, blood is thicker than water...

whats past cant be undone...

he has to face his own music, accept all consequences...

come hell or high water, he can somehow work it out...

the most important thing is..

people can change and hopefully he can find the right path in life...

; im always here to give my two cents worth for you kay, babe?

the volcano just erupted.

2009-01-16T04:05:00.000-08:00

today i wasnt being my true self.

i was irritable, aggitated and in a foul mood.

usually it would be very surprising to see me mad. only the unimaginable can make me mad. at most i would shout from one end to the other one minute and be laughing the next. but TODAY, i was cursing and swearing like nobody's business. even towards the innocent.

firstly, i dun like to see any mess around my space or work area. if i happen to see bits and scraps of unwanted pieces of junk, i would not hesitate to discard them away. its just an EYESORE. and today, there were TONNES of them in my line of vision.

secondly, i dun like it when people leave tasks unfinished. they leave traces of incomplete work everywhere; only for me to find out abit too late. and all the SHIT they left is all over my face. yes, im the victim who is in deep shit covering YOUR own ass.

thirdly, yes; i noe everyone is busy. but why are you always the busiest when all you cared about is your casesheets? you bossed your juniors around and turn a deaf ear to call bells from patients in need. now tell me, where is your personal touch of nursing care? case files are not your patients!

fourthly, when someone says that they had the job done, they MEANT it. dont try to say you did this and that, only for others to discover it was just empty words.

my patience was being tested. my middle finger was being raised. even my other colleagues labelled me; as FIERCE. huhhh. that word was never used to describe me. skarang tanduk aku dah naik!

i despise doing things in a rushed manner, because at the end of the day its not the quantity of work done. its the quality of the effort that was put in. remember, we work as a team. so if one does a mistake, it will affect the others. SO YOU BETTER BUCK UP AND START DOING SOME QUALITY WORK WILL YA?

*P.S: sorry to my other colleagues for having to tolerate my bad day. din mean to shout at you guys! love u all lahh~! hahaha...

okay gdnite.

the goodbye.

2009-01-12T04:38:00.000-08:00

Mengapakah kau melangkah pergi
Ketika ku masih perlu
Menatap wajahmu kali akhir
Dan lantas menyelam rindu

it was cold and chilly.

you sent me to my door and kissed my forehead.

you bid me goodbye and hugged me tight.

i looked down, unable to engage in any form of eye-contact.

my heart felt heavy, and i whispered a soft goodbye.

will i ever see u again?

as soon as the door was shut closed, my mind was lead to the past.

the same scene happens, where someone whom i loved sent me home and bid me goodye;

and my heart felt heavy, wishing that someone will stay and not leave.

but that someone finally left.. leaving me all alone and in pieces.

reminiscing back, tears welled up in my eyes.

why do i get emotional all of a sudden?

why must i tink of the past which will only bring back tears?

sending me home, that kiss on the forehead, that goodbye..

it was all the same...

but one thing for sure....i wish the past will not repeat itself.

Md Akmal Bin Masodi...

i hope the goodbyes u gave is not meant to be forever.

I Love You.

its hot and blazin'~

2009-01-09T15:38:00.000-08:00

watched bedtime stories with dear... its actually a reasonably nice movie than i expected it to be. hehe.... been a looong time since i watched movies lar! :) BEST.

AND BEEF PROSPERITY BURGER IS BACKKKK!!! WOOOHOOO. AND ITS MEGA. HOT I LIKE.~ im sure gona comeback for more.....!

droolsssssss.

freaky.

2009-01-08T08:34:00.000-08:00

freaking tings are happening in my ward....!!

we're like chasing the 'spirits' away for our patient...

nite shift on malam jumaat lagi..... -_-

............................

2009-01-07T07:40:00.000-08:00

keep ur hands to urself!!

Do i really have to lock every single property of MINE and also others to make sure that they dont go MISSING? only to find out its somewhere else?

and to tink that its not the first time!

new found love.=)

2008-12-21T21:57:00.000-08:00

headed down to sim lim with neez and pendek... glad we finally get the chance to meet up babes!!! planned to scout ard looking for cameras but ended up buying one!! bonus dah masok...hahah... sony cybershot 8.1 megapixel in pinkrose.. not too fancy with the design but heck as long as the functions are good... baby jgn jealous!

whereas my gal neez, bought herself a new black ACER laptop!! (not sure abt the model) hahaha...random seh...she looked as though she was more interested with the salesperson than the laptop that she bought.. she scout ard alot of shops but ended up buying from the SAME salesperson that she first talked to..she even looked for him laaa! haha! -_- anihoos she's so adorable having to videocall her sis just to see how her modem looks like at home..hahah!!! its different from the router kay.(watever the spelling is).

pendek however...plan to buy a microwave for her family.. she said its more practical having to heat up all those food at home. no fuss and stuff.. BUT sadly she left her WALLET in her locker at work! byk2 benda.. wat the heck...hahah...dont sad2 kay..next tym we scout ard for kitchen appliances pulak...lol!

im just glad we get to meet up even after work..cos nowadays its so difficult to plan an outing together. unfortunately shiq, kint and goli wun be able to join us... the issue is, one: our schedules always clash with one another and we cant find the SAME day to hangout. two: we are too drained out after work to go anywhere after that! nyehs. how?

P.S: im upset today. my class gathering is cancelled at the very last minute! jus because most of them cant make it even tho a handful are available. so they cancelled it cos it wouldnt be a CLASS gathering then, would it?? BUIH AH! and to think i specially requested for an off day today... =(

okaybye.

Faith is a small word with a big meaning to it.

2008-11-20T00:10:00.000-08:00

yet another bestie telling me how depressed they are at work. from the demanding managers, the hectic schedules, bitchy colleagues and effing patients. oh well, how surprising right.

"how i wish i could turn around and leave." is becoming a common phrase. the fact that she's bonded made it worst. having to overcome 3 long years in that current situation doesn't help at all. u feel like ur waking up and having to go through a tough ride. i completely understand. patience is your bestfriend.

been there, done that babe. i've gone through countless expressions in my short working experience. like you, ive swallowed harsh criticisms and hurtful comments. im a more introverted person, my real life is going on inside my head. nobody can guess my inner feelings beneath that calm and blur face of mine. ive bowed down to humans who are clueless about their temperamental nature. at times, to an extent that my sef-esteem died on me. i felt small and hoped to make them eat their own distasteful words.

yes, it is a cruel world out there. there's no end to politics. u can never put a stop to it. in fact, it is everywhere. i've learnt to force myself to deal with the situation, rather than escape from it. HELL to all those conflict-creating humans out there, damn you. may you fix that twisted brain and scrub that rusty heart of yours. live up to the good name of professional nurses, if you still have the tiniest interest to be in this line. if not, search within your souls and get a job that suits the real you. i guess till then will we spread some peace and loving around.

so hey babe, think of the positive side. think of all the great people who praised you, gave u endless strength and support. think of the bumpy ride u had that leads u to where you are now. tink of the great buddies who paint some fun colours in your life and made work less boring. think of the patients etc who gave sincere smiles to appreciate your kind gestures.

as for me, i always remind myself that "i am here for my patients."

and thats all that matters.

have faith my nurses.

pondering...

2008-11-19T05:46:00.000-08:00

me and dear was talking on the phone and we stumbled upon a topic. a topic of the future. OUR future.

he had all the plans laid out in mind... all i could do was listen. rarely did i gave any constructive suggestions or add-ons to the discussion. thats cos he always plans ahead while me, had little thoughts about the whole thing. one can make a better decision through experience, i guess. through the years, the minds gets more settled.

well, flashing back about this whole future thingy, kinda make me sit up straight and think. wat future lies ahead of me? to wat extend must i slog, scrimp and save up now to secure a comfortable life? wat are my targets and how long must i achieve them? am i prepared to face and overcome the challenges that lies ahead? all these questions running through this brain of mine.

sometimes i feel guilty cos dear is making more sacrifices for US then i am. financial wise, he is giving up alot for himself and investing so much on me and our future. so much so that he is willing to save more than half of his pay while me, nowhere close to that. on my part, it made me look as though im just waiting for miracles to happen. but reality check, i need to take this issue into serious consideration. i cant and wun allow my dear to bear the load alone. i need to step in. somewhere, somehow.

i had plans of my own too, to have my own target within a certain amt of yrs. by 2010, i would hope to take up an advance diploma or a nursing degree preferably as a full time course. by then, i would be more settled to think abt other major life commitments eg: marriage etc. that is another issue that i need to plan out for. not now that is, but to ensure that i will be stable financially and emotionally by then. having to rely on others or my parents is totally out of the question. i have only myself to depend on for building my own future. life is what you make of it.

as the saying goes, "time and tide waits for no man."

hmmmmm...............

love ya babes.

2008-11-16T04:28:00.000-08:00

these gals made my day.

missed them loads. missed the rest too. tym well spent! :)

shopping on our next pay bebs? thats wad we do best ryttttee. plus chill and laugh and catchup and bitch and camwhore and just hangout like the good old days. AKU RINDUUU.

p.s. love ya babes.

night angels.

2008-11-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

JUST ENDED MY 3RD NITE. LIKE FINALLY!~

felt so shagged. dunnoe why. prolly cos last nite was admitting day. BMU send cases one by one occupying the male beds. dah takde keje. da plak tu the male BMU staff sound so gatal over the phone. puh-lease! how i wish i can just say NO to the admissions. or say, "sorry eh pls send another day." haha!!

da plak tu the HO on-call is like so chapalang. asked him to order some nasal swabs but he said," u nurses can order urselves rite." HELLO. if we could do that then there's no NEED for me to consult you lar eh. duh. -_-. wen asked to isolate patient cos of droplet precaution, he said, "up to u all lah." and the way he walks and talks is like sloppy. jadi doctor appearance and grooming mesti UP sikit okey.

and duno why yest sway-sway cannot take blood. only managed to get some. geram sendiri ah. HO said," the veins is bulging in front of my eyes leh." haha! wats wrong with me xia.

one patient asked one of us to remove the nebuliser mask wen it run dry. me, zah and jane looked at each other. since when did any of us give neb to him?? till now question unanswered. -_-

deepest condolenses to atok 11/4 who passed away during my night. he has been fighting to stay alive for weeks but he gave his last breath that night. (setoppit eh kwee yen for saying that he was waiting for me. -_- ) there was heavy rain and lighting flashes. guess 'langit pun turut menangis dengan pemergiaannya'... tuhan lebih menyayangi dirinya.

ni lah keje orang takde keje time tengah keje. hehhehe.~

wana sleep liao! adios amigos....

indecisive song equals insecurities = God NO!

2008-11-07T04:29:00.000-08:00

my current fav on the tracks.. Hot and Cold by Katy Perry... this song is like a perfect song of my past relationship wif an ex, wan... haha... so glad i got out of that roller-coaster.. THANK GOD ITS OVER!!

insecurities is not in my dictionary. never ever. never ever ever.

nyahahahaha!!

You change your mind,
Like a girl changes clothes,
Yeah you, PMS,
Like a bitch
I would know.

And you over think,
Always speak,
Crypticly.

I should know,
That you're no good for me.

Cause you're hot then you're cold,
You're yes then you're no,
You're in then you're out,
You're up then you're down,
You're wrong when it's right,
It's black and it's white,
We fight, we break up,
We kiss, we make up,

(you)You don't really want to stay, no.
(but you)But you don't really want to go-o.

You're hot then you're cold,
You're yes then you're no,
You're in and you're out,
You're up and you're down,

We used to be,
Just like twins,
So in sync,
The same energy,
Now's a dead battery.
Used to laugh bout nothing,
Now your plain boring.

I should know that,
You're not gonna change.

(you)You don't really want to stay, no.
(but you)But you don't really want to go-o.

Someone call the doctor,
Got a case of a love bi-polar,
Stuck on a roller coaster,
Can't get off this ride,
You change your mind,
Like a girl changes clothes.

{CHORUS}
Cause you're hot then you're cold,
You're yes then you're no,
You're in then you're out,
You're up then you're down,
You're wrong when it's right,
It's black and it's white,
We fight, we break up,
We kiss, we make up.(x2)

(you)You don't really want to stay, no.
(but you)But you don't really want to go-o.

.....................................................................................................................................

~*im luvin my life wif my current one though.*

straits kitchen at hyatt~29oct08**

2008-10-31T19:32:00.000-07:00

makan session with wd45 nursing colleagues.

Venue: Straits Kitchen at Grand Hyatt Hotel.

Birthday babies: Syazwani and NC Rahman.

Edited photos by nisa. pics taken by jannah. :)

P.S: otak-otak dier power!~

caught the bug.

2008-10-31T04:56:00.000-07:00

this cough that im having is sooo irritating! pissing me off!

i dun get sick very easily, but wen i do, my recovery period is damn slow la!

.................................

and best of all, my leave is gona end in 2 days!

biler mau baik ni??

***cuddles up in one corner***

surprise!

2008-10-22T02:33:00.000-07:00

yet another surprise from him....

my belated birthday gift!

a white palm-sized Acer Aspire-one laptop!

and a detachable mouse, mousepad, external DVD-RAM and wireless net connection as well!

ive always been wanting to buy a laptop.. but dint expect i could get one as a gift. :) i guess he could sense from the way ive been eyeing on them all these while...

thanks honey! love you lots..

now we can talk on the phone AND chat online through webcams! how cool is that? :))

; a lasting relationship is when one could comprehend what the other is not saying....even without the use of words or expressions...

ape dah jadi?

2008-10-15T06:29:00.000-07:00

MY BROTHER IS FREAKING GETTING MARRIED THIS WEEKEND AND I DUN FREAKING DESERVE A DAY OFF? I MEAN DOES IT FREAKIN HAPPEN EVERY DAY?

tryin to find a replacement for my shift on sunday. obviously the prob lies with the shortage of staff on sunday. alot have requests for off. not that i DIDNT apply for off on that day, i did, even i CLOUDED my request in the request book. howells sister manee said she will try to figure smthn out. but............

everyday im chasing my ward sister for the outcome siakkkk. naik boring. hari hari tanye bende same.

kay takpe besok tanye lagi.

AHHHH PALING PALING MC JE AH.

buzzz off!

2008-09-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

one word to describe you. a LIAR. how shameless can you be.

u said u were from nyp biomed, but u were from TP.

u said u saw me back in campus but dunoe how to approach me, but u knew NUTS of how i look like.

u said u got my number from a person related to me. BUT u got it from a system. what system? a legalised software that enables people to obtain information about others. homebiz or smthn. okay, i dunoe wether its really TRUE, but so far, even police need to get permission from the court if they need somebody's particulars.. and i dun wish to get to know a liar like YOU.

u just simply dont get the hint. after dose sarcastic remarks and me shouting and hurling words at you.

and worst still, u sound like a flirty GAY over the phone. DESPERADO!

get out of my life!!!!

...........geram siakkkkkk.

i miss you. i do...

2008-09-19T22:24:00.000-07:00

Our little orange friendship file. our own little journey. our treasured moments.

i miss u guys. i really do. please dont change for the sake of our friendship. =(

love, nisa.

out with it!

2008-09-15T22:03:00.000-07:00

firstly, u know my full name.

secondly u know my bday.

thirdly u know my number.

but DAMMIT i DUNOE WHO U ARE.

well, the 'i saw u back at campus but duno how to approach u so i waited till ur bday to wish u' tu is like bullshittt lor. (wen i got my new number, i was about to graduate already)

zul; or whoever u are. please reveal urself. or atleast reveal the PERSON u gave u my number!

a jolly great Bday.

2008-09-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

it was a memorable 20th bdae. wooohooo!!!

well, initially it was downright sucky.

i woke up, not having any plans for the day. ermms excuse me, its my birthday but hell nooo it doesnt felt like it is.

mr boyfie had to work last minute, and most of ma fwens had work too. DARN.

unexpectedly, i met up wif an old fren of mine, someone whom ive not met fer like wat- months? (somehow or rather, we can never lose contact wif each other. more than 8yrs of frenship. sape lagi klw bukan si giler qida. also my gelek partner. hehe! we went to bugis and u guessed it- we shopped. mampos duit da kering dis month! winfred met up wif us and we had a small chat plus he passed my bdae gift as well. thanks lotss!! :) and ohh, i saw that ex of mine at bugis but he din saw me. not much difference in him except for that specs! bahhh. then we head down to cthall and buka at secret recipe. qid bought me a dress! :)

si budak giler- qid. lawa la tuuu.

after a much light-hearted day, i was in fer more surprises.

while in the train home, boyf called twice asking where i was. it aroused my suspicion. i knew somehow or another, somethin is up his sleeves. i told him i wld reach hm ard 9plus, he said okay. right up to my very lift landing, i scanned every corner hoping to catch a glimpse of him lurking somewhere. much to my disappointment, i went home.

i received a call once i reached home. he told me he just reached 'his' carpark rumah. like a gong2 person, i believed him. tings changed wen i heard marina's voice at the backgrnd. RAHSIA TERBONGKAR! jeng jeng jeng!

there was a knock at the door and there he was with a bouquet of flowers and a box of cake. he was in his police pants and perspiring. much to my surprise, he was waiting at my void deck since 9plus( the time i said i wld be home) but not till near 11pm that i reached home. oops! MY MUM PON PAKAT SEKALI laaaah. and so i cut the mango cake and everyone sang me a bdae song. it was a bday to remember. :)

the surprise!

to complete the lovely celeb, me and boyf went to night safari on 14sep. it was a FIRST TIME trip there fer both of us. haha.. here are the pics....(taken from fone camera so not THAT crystal clear lor.)

wooops! what a greeaaaaaaaaaaaaaat bday!

p.s: i DO know the difference between kuching and monkey kay dear! apa dar. hmmmpt! :p

selamat berpuasa!!

2008-08-30T23:13:00.000-07:00

i know my site is already like so basi cos havent been posting for ages.

well now im here.

hellow.

to fwens, i miss you.

to bf, i love you.

(sumpah tengah boring kat keje la ehh tu psl sempat type in a few words in here.)

p.s: sorry for wasting few minutes of ur time reading.

toodles! muacks. selamat berpuasa..........

eMA's wedding~!!!

2008-08-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

a working colleague's wedding. she's pretty yeah? her hubby not bad at all..hehe. congrats babe! =))

true or not??

2008-07-17T21:56:00.000-07:00

VIRGO MAN

Time is precious for Virgo man and if you make him wait, he will consider
that as an insult. He hates to hear criticism and hates to be criticize. If
he is criticizing other people, then he must be influenced by other Zodiac.
He is and he likes to be a perfectionist. He always think he is doing the
right and appropriate thing , and often he thinks he makes no mistake. He is
a bright guy and could accept comments if he thinks it can improve himself.
He is the type who well adjusted to make changes.

He will spent money carefully and spent it worthwhile. He will only
extravagant for his personnel pleasure only. He is quite romantic, a type of
guy who can drive 100 miles just to
tell you how much he misses you. If he
does not care about you, he will not even spent a dime to call you locally.
Long distant special low rate call is also out of the question.

He hates rough and crude people. His woman has to be clean and dress well.
He inspects any thing in details beside being a perfectionist, so you could
be lying in your bikini with a perfect figure and he can suddenly comments
you about your big feet. If you gain 2 pounds , he may comments you are
getting too fat. Before going out with this kind of guy, look at yourself
head to toe in the mirror and ask yourself if you are really and entirely
ready. Unless he dates a model, then he will have less comments.

He is neat and tidy, so his life always in a schedule, a fix time to lunch,
the same time to go home. He is well knowledge about food and conscious
about
nutrition, so you won't see this guy eating a junk food, or strange
and exotic food for sure.

You will see him in social events or party if only necessary. He is gifted
with acting, so if he says he can not go out with you because he is sick,
then you will belief him. He is a hard to please when it comes to what to
eat, how to work, what kind of a woman to date. He always neat and tidy all
the times, even if he is in the army, he will be the cleanest soldier in the
camp. He likes to speak properly with no slang. He hates laziness and lazy
people. He always act like a boring mature adults, but getting to know him ,
you will know he has his own charm.

He always see things clearly, so he is not the type to be blinded by love.
He is a kind and cool guy, but if constantly irritate with rudeness,
ignorant, or stupidity then he will show you
that he is annoyed. You may see
a guy in this Zodiac dress up in an old shirt and old Jean, but if you look
carefully, you will see that his hair is neat and unconsciously he will
touch his hair a lot. His desk is always neat and if he sees small scrap
paper on the floor, he will pick it up or put it in the basket.

People may think he is selfish, because when he says 'No', he really means
it. Any favor asked , he will help but always in his own limit. The more he
see faults in others, the less he wants people to see his. If you want him
to change his faults, try to tell him gently or he could take it as an
insult.

He wants love that comes with quality, so he only has a few loves in his
life. Woman's trick will not work with him. If he breaks up with a woman, he
will also try to avoid all her friends and her environments too. He is
very
picky and every breaking up, he will be double careful next time.

He can sweep woman with his charm, but he likes to keep his relationship
like a friend. He likes a sincere self confident woman, neat and clean,
perfect and tidy. A real two 'P' , picky and perfectionist Zodiac.

VIRGO WOMAN

She will be similar to Leo woman in appearance. A slim woman who walks with
confident and proud. She has an egg shape facial structure, high and round
forehead. She likes to look straight as if she is searching. She is not a
pretentious type and will always say what she thinks.

You will see Virgo woman walks fast. She will try her best to be perfect, to
look perfect and to feel perfect even though there is no such perfection.
She is very delicate of what and
how she dress. She is bright and easily
despair with obstacles. She likes smart guy who will be compatible with her,
so if you are a rich dumb guy, you can forget about her right now.

She is not a very possessive or jealous person for she expect respect from
her love one. She does not like a part time lover, or a temporary mate. If
she finds her dream man, she will not go away. If she does not like you, she
will always keep a certain distant. Act proper and appropriate is her
discipline.

She does not like and can not stand bad languages, cursing words or phrase.
She likes a gentleman who open the doors for her. She wants to feel
protected and when a man taking care of her, she will feel like a complete
woman.

She memorizes everything about other people and about herself very well. She
can really keep secret, you can trust her
on this. She likes a refreshing
and a mild scent. She is very delicate in maintaining her beauty, so you
could see she is seriously picking soap which match and most suit her skin.
Do not comments her on this very picky habits, it is her happiness in
working full times as a self beautifier.

She is not an innocent angle for sometimes she can be as tough as steel.
Even she easily despair, she is not the type to cry over it. She is a shy
type, so making speech in front of the room can make her nervous even she
walks and talks confidently.

She only search for true love , not just any love. Her love is an ideal one.
She likes to think no one is neater and as effective as her, which can
irritate you sometimes for there is no such thing. She likes sweet talk, but
she can slip and say something unpredictable and unbearable to you too. When
she stops getting mad, she will totally forget what she just said and be an
angel again. If you have a date with her , you'd better be there on time.

Flowers and sweet word can calm her down. If you want to say sorry , make it
brief and straight forward. Do not drag your apologetic words into a long
making it up events, it could lead you to another world war. She likes her
man to dress nice and clean. She is good in details especially with money.
Do not make she think that she is a clown or funny.

In the beginning of knowing her, please try not to glance at other pretty
woman so much. Early period of dating her, try not to hold her so much in
public, it would not be a proper thing to do. She loves books, stage play
and music and likes to criticize about them too.

Criticism woman is her icon including big and small things in life
starting
from your hair, your dress , and the way you talk. If you are in love with
her, be as almost perfect as your can.

The RED coloured phrases are TRUE! hahahaha.

For the virgo guy *ehem* i think otherwise. =p

girlies day out!

2008-07-02T21:16:00.000-07:00

3/4 of my ward is malay. kecohhhhhhhhhh people around. its not nice when im constantly bullied and pushed around. nisa slow la, suke termenong la, sombong la, etc. HAHAHAHA. stoppit eh korang.

u guys rawk!

life story you dont wana know.

2008-06-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

work life has been quiteeee interesting.

from the ever kecoh shrieks of laughter of colleagues,

from the frequent nagging and the flaring nostrils of sister,

from the disturbing sounds that patients made,

from the endless ringing from BMU forcing us to accept beds,

from the call bells that never stops

from the writing and writing and writing of reports

from the catching up of time to multi-tasking

and the doctors who spent 5mins with patients and leave the rest of their shit for us to do.

thats the real story from the life of a nurse.

thank you.

once upon a time..........

2008-05-22T21:04:00.000-07:00

for those who are not aware.. ive straightened my hair.

Look like CINA? u decide... HAHA.

and ive officially graduated!!! =))

PICS WILL BE POSTED ONCE READY.

IM SO GERAM AND I FEEL LIKE PULLING APART THIS COMPUTER COS MY ENTIRE LONG POST WAS DELETED. WAH PIANG.

OKAY BYE.

im like a child.

2008-04-24T21:40:00.000-07:00

i feel like im in a time capsule going at a fast speed.

trapped in a period where im in an age i dun wana be.

the WORKING age.

at times i feel like im not ready.

like i still wana enjoy life.

like i still wana be pampered and treated like a child. (in fact im still one.)

wen i reach the workplace, i see seriousness of life. competitiveness and work-driven individuals.

i see matured groups of pple.

i see grown up, dedicated, experienced staffs carrying weights of responsibilities on their shoulders.

that's when i feel tiny and small, young and fragile.

at times i felt dumb and casted aside.

people wun look up to you, you have no say.

in fact, i have to step up and look up to people for help.

am i ready?

i just need time to get used to working life.

i miss school terribly.

missy ah missy....

2008-03-19T22:41:00.000-07:00

im starting work next week sia..............!

as an SGH STAFF NURSE.

omgawd i still feel like a student who runs ard asking, "staff nurse wad is this, staff nurse wat is that..?"

now THEY will ask ME pulak. -_- mampos lah. haha.

am i prepared for the working world? I HOPE so.... the people and the new hospital environment...

just hope the doctors there are friendly and good-looking. HAHA! (joking baby.)

loving an imperfect person perfectly.

2008-03-19T22:10:00.000-07:00

Bila asmaraku telah tiba
merenggut nafas dijiwa itu dia
yang datang hadirkan cinta
menyebar kedalam rasa
dapatkahku mengatakannya
perasaan yang kupunya untuk dia..
mestinya ku ungkapkan saja
tuk dapat jawapan darinya..

dapatkah aku memeluknya
menjadikan bintang disurga
memberikan warna yang bisa
menjadikan indah
aku tak mampu mengatakan
aku tak mampu tuk mengungkapkan
hingga sampai saat ini
perasaan telah tertinggal
dapatkah dia merasakan
satu nafas yg tersimpan
itu bukan cinta sekadar cinta biasa
yang sesaat dan terus hilang

sometimes, circumstances change us into a different person..

hiding our tru self to make everyone happy..even thoa we're not.

cos we dun live in a perfect little world.

the important thing is, never keep our feelings bottled up inside..

cos sooner or later as it builds up, the impact is greater.

express them, and its up to the other party to accept it.

cos everyone is different and this is where negotiation comes in.

embrace each other's differences and average them out in the best way possible.

once we make a mistake, stop, acknowledge it but never look back...

conflicts always happened when we are too ego to accept..

but im glad we settled it out baby...! =))

- All it takes is a few hours of wise reasoning and compromising. *winks*

a different me.

2008-03-04T19:35:00.000-08:00

some of my makeover pics.

hmmmm... deliciously done i guess. it was sooo much fun.

guess who's back. back again.

2008-02-23T18:09:00.000-08:00

THE BONCHET-NESS IS BACK.

Its times like this when im home most of the time. and when my brain is totally unoccupied. and i get to munch. wich means the scale is gona hit over 50 soon. gone are the days when i can wear dose body-hugging tops la ehh. pass down kat adek sudah. da mcm shrink je. nak go gym punyelah m.a.l.a.s. hehs.

and ohhh. i just came back from overnight-ing at east coast and......my skin is DARKER. im not a fan of the sun. later my baby fairer than me how? how HOW? drats.

haiz. please stop whining nisa.

and dammit i din get the job at AH. "we were impressed by ur vast experience but we regret to inform that we could not employ u at this time. we will consider ur resume when there are vacancies in future." -wateverr..

jus praying that i could get SGH... and meanwhile get a part-time job soon........

how i wish money falls from the sky. takya keje. kan best.

ouy.evol.i

2008-02-14T20:18:00.000-08:00

Dear God,

Do you still remember me? The teary-eyed girl who would sulk in a corner leaving things to fate. The girl who used to envy every loving couple who hugged by the street. The girl who used to wonder, " When im in a relationship, im alone and sad. same goes when im single. does it make any difference?" The girl who was made an object to be experimented with. The girl with an incredible sense of patience being dragged down low but still surviving on false hopes. The girl who is not worth to love and be loved.

Dear God,

As im laying down my words, my spirits gradually lifted. Nothing can wipe the smile off my face; not now, not ever. I could feel myself being a much happier person. I could breathe again. I dont recall being the girl who drowned herself writing sad entries in her journals. Who is she? Im a whole new person now. People say i've changed, in a good way that is.

Dear God,

You brought someone into my life just when i was about to crumble. He mended my broken heart and eased my pain. He touched me with his sincerity. He was sweet with words, humble and loyal. He dedicated his time and showered me endless surprises. He never fails to melt my heart. Most importantly, he place me above himself. He is everything in my life. I wouldnt ask for anything more.

Dear God,

Thank you for answering my prayers each night. Im blessed to have met him in my life. He brought back the faith in me that true love does exist.

The surprise bracelet on 12.2.08.... The surprise bouquet on 14.2.08....

PS: It's been 8months and my love for u is going strong.. Everyday is valentine's day for us dear.. muacks...

blessed.

2008-02-04T15:51:00.000-08:00

its been a gaZILLION years since i last blogged.

occupied with final stages of PRCP and of course, no internet assess at home. hees.

so guess what? I PASSED. woohoo.

it was a gruelling week.

the look on her face makes me weak. makes me freak out, find and dig a hole to bury myself in. i admit im weak in my pharmacology and theories. she threw questions at me but sadly all i could do was stare blankly at her. from then onwards, she preyed on me and came to my ward to assess me nearly everyday. she left out some of my other friends wich i tink is unfair. why am i her only target? screw her. as days went by, i find myself more confident to face her. im not very good with words, and im soft-spoken with higher authorities, but i tried my very best to sound knowledgeable in our conversation. bebual hembus jer tak kasi dier chance sehh. i damn blooody wana prove to her that im not as dumb as she tink i am. ( cos i tink that sum other people are weaker but she just closed one eye.) she asked me about all my patients that im in-charged of for the day; their diagnosis, chief complaints, past history, investigations done, nursing managements, medications etc.. i speak whatever that i could remember of my 10 patients. the look on her face changed the minute i could answer what is Coronary Angiogram. :) guess all those hardwork researching before and after work do paid off. to be honest, she did make me improve by all those head-knockings. nyehs.

i gave a thank-you card and a simple flower to Nuraini, my preceptor. she has become my buddy cum mentor as well. Im blessed to have a preceptor who is willing to guide me through those 3 months.

and i gave a box of chocolates to Mr Ang, my ward nurse manager cum brother. he never gave up on me and gave me me support and encouragements to pull through. a warm handshake was the least to show my gratitude. he gave me a Hi-5 when knowing that i passed. :)

thanks to all other ward staffs, nurses, doctors, MSW, other allied healthcare team, HCA's, PCA's and housekeepers in ward 4.they make me feel welcomed and i feel like part of a family.

thanks to my baby who spent time researching information while i had no internet connection. those words u pronounced was funny though. hehe. Amlodipine is pronounced as Am-low-dee-peen not Am-low-dee-pee-ney. blueks.

for now, im waiting for my interview in AH. still considering to join other hospitals like NUH. in May, i will graduate out from NYP. woo hoo. in a way, i miss life in school. and no doubt i miss dance esp the StageArters. :(

to a dear babe of mine, dont give up hope. i know its a sucky feeling and u felt cheated. hopefully ur letter of appeal to pass this PRCP posting will be accepted kay. i will pray for u gal.

aites. meeeting the three musketters now. adios!

GIRLS.

2008-01-03T01:31:00.000-08:00

today when i woke up, i decided to have a hair cut.

the ends are starting to get super irritating. its dry and the texture feels like berus. half curl, half straight. i need to bun up my hair for work, and when i let it go, terus dah start merepek. my hair is losing its life. i guess that's what usually happens for permed hair. unless i take the extra effort to maintain it. which is now like dah tak kuase lagi la ehhh. i just want to get rid of the ugly part.

but i hate to see my hair short. all those years keeping. mcm wasted.

in the end, the guy told me to keep my length unless i go for soft rebonding or re-perm first. kalau tak it will turn out worse. and he offered multiple hair solutions; ampoules lah wat lah. suggested me to go for furthur treatments etc. i din noe its that bad. hahahaha.

cant be bothered. i left the salon with a simple trim and shorter fringe. lol.

PS: nana aku jealous ngan rambut kau. so very lawa and less complicated than mine.

after, like no difference like that. haha.

but still im not satisfied.

is this wad we call love?

2007-12-28T17:57:00.000-08:00

i dont usually fancy last minute changes. it gets me all worked up and uneasy.

but whenever it involves u, i always try to make it an exception.

you dont have to apologise cos im an understanding person. especially towards people i love. (if by doing that ur being nice then its okay.) how i feel all that is like watever. dont worry.

my main priority is about u alone. about u getting better, having enough rest, eaten ur lunch etc.

here i go again, getting all worried abt u. not because of the fact that im bumped out that our date was cancelled.

say hellow twothousandand8~*

2007-12-27T23:34:00.000-08:00

ward 4 party held on 27/12/07. in conjunction with the christmas and year end celebrations. most were present at the party, but some couldnt make it.

i was still in the midst of my shift when mr Ang pulled us in for the feast. i asked him, who would be outside to standby the patients, if not even us students? he seboleh-bolehnye told us that he dun mind jaga the whole lot of them for us while we stayed inside to have a good time. he even pulled other staffs in, including the housekeepers and the technicians who happened to be on duty. (of course they turned him down bcos they were too shy with the grp of nurses-haha)

he was forever saying, "wait i go down buy u all more drinks dun worry." and poof! he went.

thats wat i like about my ward BROTHER. (pleeeease, not because he is old and bald hahaha.)

ward 4 nurses....!

and i just cant run away from the fact, that there is always someone out dere to make my life difficult. ur making wild accusations and pointing all fingers on me. i knew from the start that u have something against me. i may be quiet, but it dont mean that im weak. u may be rude and smirk at me, but its okay. Just u wait woman. i have all proof to show that ur wrong. one day ur gonna swallow back all ur words. and FYI, im not threatened by ur presence. everybody makes mistakes, and ur not far from that either.

my case study presentation went well. jennifer commented that it was quite good. :) glad that made me smile afterwards. haha...

all smiles...

2007-12-22T02:58:00.000-08:00

wana wish someone a HAPPY 23rd Birthday!!! stay young and bubbly CIKGUUU marina. hahahah.

she was smiling from ear to ear wen she received her present. specially from dear, oats and fnd. a gorgeous necklace that is. :) and oso a new camera from fizzo. best kannn. she was in shock, unsure whether to scream or cry. haha.

then she led me into several bling2 shops. showed me how to appreciate the quality of real diamonds. which ring is better in quality, the carats, the size, colour, clarity etc. thanx babe! i tink all girls shld noe stuffs like these! haha...and they shld teach their bfs oso. so next tym they noe wat to get. *hint2*

alvin and the chipmunks was adorably funny and entertaining to watch. :)

and i noticed guys can nvr be separated with gadgets and robots and games and action figures and watnots. lol... just like us with the obsession with fashion, hair and makeup. and boys. hahaha...

take care and come back soon~

2007-12-21T02:56:00.000-08:00

we bid them goodbye. they set off and took the bus ride to KL just now...my whole family except me, dad, bro and kk nani. together with my aunts and uncles and cousins and watnots.

end work ard 6 plus due to the stupid case study presentation. haha... it took almost 5hrs for all the groups to complete. my grp's powerpoint slides was cocked up abit. we changed the font to a brighter clr so the others can see but somehow it turned out bad. most words wasnt reflected at all.. and i made typo error! instead of Digoxin 250mcg i say 250mg.. kirekan da medication error. wrong dosage! haha! watever... naseb the ward sisters tak byk ask qns if not mati seh. huhu...my stomach tk habes2 buat hal je all the way...cant stand it.

after that rushed home, quickly washup and get myself ready. ayang came early and fetched me first from home before fetching my grandparents at jurong. dey told us to fetch dem at 8pm but upon arrival, they said it was still too early. -_- ayang had a good chat wif nenek and was surprised wen my grandma and his grandma are frens. haha...small world. *winks. den he drove us to the pick-up point where he met up wif my makcik and pakciks. someone kene compliment as looking very young. suke la tuuu. eksyen. hehe! oh, how can i forget? ur only 18! yeah...boy boy...=p thanks baby for sending my grandparents off. looks lik dey are fond of u ardy. love u many2~! muacks.. cnt wait for tmr.. hehe.

my head feels warm. and im freezing in this room. attention to all: pls bring an umbrella wen ur out during this rainy season! not like me so degil hehe... okaybye my feet need to be pampered and moisturised. and i want my sleep. weekends here i come...

save it, boy.

2007-12-14T13:43:00.001-08:00

u sounded nice.

u tried to be friendly.

u seem to talk of nothing else but our memories.

u even tried asking me out.

u ignored the fact that im no longer yours.

its as if ur trying to win me back.

- - -

save the effort boy.

dont give urself false hopes.

it wont happen for the FOURTH time.

in fact, it will never happen again.

the reason why im still contacting and not being cold to you is because i dun wish to make enemies.

save it, boy.

2007-12-14T13:43:00.000-08:00

u sounded nice.

u tried to be friendly.

u seem to talk of nothing else but our memories.

u even tried asking me out.

u ignored the fact that im no longer yours.

its as if ur trying to win me back.

- - -

save the effort boy.

dont give urself false hopes.

it wont happen for the FOURTH time.

in fact, it will never happen again.

the reason why im still contacting and not being cold to you is because i dun wish to make enemies.

laughing back at ya.

2007-12-07T13:11:00.000-08:00

life so far has been mundane for me.

going to work and slog, going back home to sleep. where's my life siaaa. there's nothing else for me to blog. so im writing about my prcp laaa eh.

there's mixture of emotions. likes and dislikes.

on the downside, i was pushed around rabak-rabak. nisa do this, nisa do that. feel like telling them that hello, i only have two hands. i cant be following after everyone's instructions. im running everywhere in the ward. i dont feel it always, but my feet are killing me when i finally get to sit down. To me, im ALWAYS on the go and occupied with things to do. YET people are giving feedbacks that i appear calm and relaxed and have the cant-be-bothered kind of face. kepala otak laa eh. they want me to run and sprint like im in a marathon isit? -_- i cant help but disagree with the comments they made. ohhh how friendly and sweet they are on the surface. but how nasty they can be when they start talking trash behind my back. well thats life isnt it? give me a break.

i admit i dont handle criticisms well. when my preceptor told me my skills sucks straight to my face (and in front of the group of doctors), i can only manage to hold my sadness. the casefile she slammed on my face, the look of disappointment she shows, the scoldings i received. it finally hit me hard when i excused myself to the toilet to let my feelings out and cried. i just cant hold it back there and then. there goes my morale.. haiz.

on a brighter note, as day goes by, she told me she can see my improvement. from being the last one to serve medications, to the first to bring out the medicine trolley. haha. she said i showed good and detailed documentation and works well with my collegues. its not fair if they judge me with the way i look. cos i know myself better than anyone else. at the end of the day, its not easy to bring me down cos i love what im doing.. that overpowers everything.

and im thankful for having someone lovely by my side. to listen to my sorrows and pain. to guide me in times of need. and dust the dirt off my shoulders. he once said, " when ur at work, let the stress be at work. when ur off duty, be happy. cos its a waste when ur feeling stressed out all the time. its unhealthy." thats true. he is always there when i need him. thanks baby. i love u and miss u lots...

to my darlings, feel more relieved after catching up with u guys. giving each other support eh. haha. cheers to us all!!! :) lets endure this shittyy moment together!~ miss u guys...

hmmm...time to get ready for another day at work....

Fabulous feat Ne-yo, Make me better~*

2007-12-01T03:17:00.000-08:00

I'm a movement by myself but I'm a force when we’re together
Mami I’m good all by myself but baby u make me better
U make me better

You plus me it equals better math
Your boy a good look but she my better half
I'm already bossing already flossing
But why had the cake if it ain’t got the sweet frosting?
(Yep, yep, yep) Keeping me on my A game
(With, with, with) Without having a say mayne
(They, they, they) They may flame
(But, but, but) But shorty we burn it up
The sag in my swag pimp in my step
Daddy do the Gucci, Mami in Giuseppes
Yes it’s a G thang
Whenever we swing
I’m a need Coretta Scott if I’m gonna be king

I'm a movement by myself but I'm a force when were together
Mami I’m good all by myself but baby u make me better
U make me better

1st things 1st I does what I do
But everything I am she’s my influence
I’m already boss I’m already fly
But if I’m a star she is the sky
And when I feel like I’m on top
She give me reason to not stop
And though I’m hot
Together we burn it up

The cliqued up cut the cleaned up ice
When shorty cum around I clean up nice
Dynamic duo, Batman Robin
Whoever don’t like it, it’s that mans problem
And when I feel like I’m tired
My baby taking me higher
I'm on fire
But shorty we burn it up

I'm a movement by myself but I'm a force when were together
Mami I’m good all by myself but baby u make me better
U make me better

[Bridge (Ne-Yo)]
Cuz outside every great man you can find
A woman like a soldier holding him down

She treats me like a don, watches for the hit
Checks where I go, even watches who I’m with
The right when I’m wrong, so I never slip
Showed me how to move, that’s why I never trip
And baby girl you so major
They should front page ya
God bless the parents who made ya
Middle finger anybody who hate ya
They way we burn it up

never give up.

2007-11-26T15:20:00.000-08:00

hahah.

those 3 nights was interesting, in a way.

i din feel sleepy at all, only occasionally when im bored and staring into space.

i did feel shagged, when patients got admitted one after another esp those cases which require immediate attention. it was getting out of hand with the labelling of forms (which i seriously need to work on) and the assessment sheet (same goes for this). received a good few minutes of nagging from my preceptor, nuraini. but thank god it made me awake afterwards.

previously i felt too laid-back about this posting. a good ward brother, no C.I ard, nice preceptor and staffs, friendly doctors and also a chill-out working environment. what more could i ask for? but that was previously.

NOW its different. im starting to be treated as a SN, no more a blur and clumsy student. no more gelek-gelek ard in the ward.

and previously i felt that im 70-80% confident. but now its a mere 30-40%. i need someone to tekan me, so that i can feel the pressure to work harder. nuraini is nice, she teaches me stuff. but at times i felt like being taught the wrong way. she always say, "by right u have to do this and that"... then y not do the right thing terus kan..? nyehs. -_- im confused.

i miss my friends...my roster is fcuking merepek until we cannot plan a day to meetup. not even a single day. too many changes here and there. i really feel that we need e/o's comfort and support. and also the craziness to hilangkan tension. and to my babe, dun ever give up on urself cos people never gave up on u. im confident u can make it through kay...we need to talk.

my baby, dun be too upset abt ur setbacks. try and try again. giving up without trying is worst than not trying at all. what matters is that u gave ur best. ur never a gong2 person like what u refer urself as. from what ive known abt u since we met, u will never lose hope and always think on the bright side. ur mentally very strong. so strong that u will overcome anything that ur body abstain u from doing. when ur mind is set to do something, it can always be done. thats what i admire abt u. a caring and determined person with a never-say-die attitude. so pls dun change that part abt u kay. i know u can do anything that ur mind set out to do. :)

short nap.... bored so take pic la.

cicak! -_- messy workdesk!

Its alright.

2007-11-21T15:21:00.000-08:00

so its been two weeks.

im feeling half the workload on my shoulders now. However, my dearest preceptor is not around to guide me. We're ALWAYS of different shift. and now she's on NIGHT. and im not gona do night shift until i stabilise my foundation 1st. The thought of juggling many patients with so few staff is making me worried. for the moment im tagging along with whichever SN tts free to teach me. bleahs...

and the past two weeks ive been hugging the case notes. so many things to read. so many stuffs to document. and check. and think. and make phone calls. whats not documented is equal to not done. so im playing it safe by writing every single event that i can remember. that is IF i can remember. which most of the time i dont. haha. im doing lesser of bedside nursing, i admit.

Im taking three cases per day. as compared to my friends, they're taking SIX. i need to get hold of myself before progressing furthur. NO use taking six patients but nt doing a gd job. I NEED MY PRECEPTOR DAMMIT. -_-

i just need to breathe and suck everyting in. even if i need to scream at someone, let it only be me. at times people are just threading my last nerve. i feel like an actress and they are my audience. i need to put on my sweetest smile as they are constantly judging me. what matters now is the simplest ting in life that makes my day. A word of thanks and much appreciated smile from them do wonders.

put everything else aside. 10 more weeks to go....hehe

Baby i miss you.

You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cause
Everything's going to be alright

Lil Mama G-Slide

2007-11-15T21:21:00.000-08:00

this video never fail to make me get up and groove......

http://www.youtube.com/v/RxTQseC8Z6s&rel=1"> name="wmode" value="transparent">http://www.youtube.com/v/RxTQseC8Z6s&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355">

feeling lucky.

2007-11-14T03:33:00.000-08:00

2 days of induction programme seems so relaxing.

(what kind of pose is this siaaa haha)

drug calculation test and we whispering the method and peeping into each other's answers. Flipping thru notes and playing guessing games with the MCQs.some questions seem to speak of alien language. It was challenging, but we managed to complete it.=)

some things jus rob my attention away from the lectures. it is just unavoidable. The freaking coldness of the room and the superbly irritating guy beside me trying to LASTIK me wif a rubberband which hits my neck. and it doesnt stop with my punching and shooting him back. nanti kau tunggu je. nyehs. da semangat nak pay attention seh. haiz...

and i got a real nice preceptor. (from other's comments) =) im feelin lucky.

I miss my dear.

been awhile since we last met. talk on the fone macam tak puas.

both busy with own lives.

DUN GO WASH-WASH EYES KAY. later i go poke ur eyeballs. baru tau. hahaa...

somebody suggest i put a post a picture up.

tadaaaa!!

on cardiac arrest

2007-11-11T23:57:00.000-08:00

first day of PRCP was oooooooookay.

new staffs (mostly just graduated juniors)

new environment (been a long while since ive been in MALE ward)

workflow was smooth-sailing (wasnt that hectic but im loving it)

warm and friendly collegues (smiles and appreciates the work that i do)

and yeah i counted that i only heard TWO call bells ringing through out the WHOLE SHIFT. (so that means male patients rarely call out for assistance laaa kan-haha)

and best of all..........................

my nursing officer aka ward "BROTHER" is on MC.

so the four of us preceptees had to find our way thru the ward like lost sheep. no orientation watsoever (wich i dun really mind.)

and...........

we have YET to find out who our preceptor is for the whole of that 3months. which means we have YET to find out about our work schedules and shift duties. can have cardiac arrest man.

im just hoping and praying that my staff nurse is a good one. and this final posting is smooth-sailing. hurhur.

and wtf, freaking jealous of ngee ann students whipping out portable PDAs wif nursing diagnosis and medication infos all-in-one. its like carrying my bulky Lemone textbook around siaaa. ours is just scraps of paper. bleahs...

and so tomorow is our induction programme. huhu...but still in the holiday mood.

PS: SUZANA WE GOT A NEW NAME FOR YOU ARDY EH. hahahaha. ETON. tak se-obit mane but still can la. welcome to the club. =)

yes u are....

2007-11-05T21:42:00.000-08:00

well in case ur wondering... this is the song. =))

I remember like it was yesterday
First kiss and I knew you changed the game
You have me, exactly, well you want it,
And I'm on it

And I ain't ever gonna let you get away
Holdin' hands never made me feel this way
So special, boy it's your, your smile

We so in love
(love)
La la la la
Yeah
We so in love
La la la la la
And I just can't get enough
Of your La la la la
Yeah we so in love, love
I want you to know
You are my baby love, my baby love
You make the sun come up Oh boy (oh boy)
You're my every, everything that I could ever dream of
You are my baby love, my baby love
You make the sun come up Oh boy (oh boy)
You're my every, every, every, everything

Been a minute and we still holding it down
Butterflies every time you come around
You make me, so crazy
It's crazy, oh baby

And I don't ever wanna be with no one else
You're the only one that ever made me melt
You're special, boy it's your, your style
We so in love

La la la la
Yeah
We so in love
La la la la la
And I just can't get enough
Of your La la la la la
Yeah it's all I'm thinking of
Love, love
I want you to know

You are my baby love, my baby love
You make the sun come up Oh boy (oh boy)
You're my every, everything that I could ever dream of
You are my baby love, my baby love
You make the sun come up Oh boy (oh boy)
You're my every, everything that I could ever dream of
You are my baby love, my baby love
You make the sun come up Oh boy (oh boy)
You're my every, everything that I could ever dream of
You are my baby love, my baby love
You make the sun come up Oh boy (oh boy)
You're my every, every, every, everything

(Yeah)
Everything, everything, ooo
Everything, everything, ooo

[Will.I.Am]
You're my always and forever
You're my sunshine
On my mind, constant
Think about you all the time
You're my everything

Everything, everything, ooo
Everything, everything, ooo

[Will.I.Am]
You my new school (love)
You my old school (love)
And it's so true
You're the one I'm thinking of

http://media.imeem.com/m/HGwh2zKhAI"> name="wmode" value="transparent">http://media.imeem.com/m/HGwh2zKhAI" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="300" height="80" wmode="transparent">

back at you~

2007-11-02T03:49:00.000-07:00

"Since most of my entries talking about my friends being attached, I will proceed to Nisaaini. The minah,of cos. I realized she has improved a lot and as days go by. She no longer late for meet ups, prompt reply via sms and she is truly happy with her Akmal. Why not since she got the green light from her family? I would consider that she is truly blessed after what have happened to her in the past.

P.S. Akmal, cherished her and get engaged or something cos u both r so mushy n lovey dovey" -from honeysticky.multiply.com aka saloma

wahahaha.. love ya gurlfwen. =) jus be careful on who u mix ard with. u never noe a person's true colours. what happened to u in the past was freaky lahh. hope smthn like that wont happen again. watever it is, we will be there to guard u from any danger or harm. hehe! and im always here to lend a listening ear if need be. u can count on me...without a doubt babe.

and btw, i noe im rarely late for meetups now rite.. duwan to be labelled the star karat in the grp. hehe! tho i used to be famous for that. (miss the tyms of strolling into the lecturehall late with muke slumber) and i also notice that u guys rarely pull pranks on me and bully me nowadays. thats good... haha. kesiankan lah normah..=(

haha.. for us to get engaged? kau giler eh. not so early babe. now i wana focus on getting my diploma and securing a gd job. want to be a gd missy. hehe. but i noe that ive found the one that i wana spent my life with. btw thanks for the well wishes.=)

sedih ah korang sume posted to surgical ward. aku sorang je medical. haha. but i noe i made this choice and i hope its the correct one. counting down to PRCP! =/

i miss....

2007-10-30T22:24:00.000-07:00

well well well what can i say abt the past weekend.

on sat (27/10/07), rayer outing with bf and peeps. spossedly to arrive at my hse ard 10 am but some pple were late hehe! basically most of them cld make it for the outing. was funny to see mum's reaction wen she came to noe abt oats daily diet intake. thats where he got his name from. hahahaha. and lyn has a kewl camera which can take multiple shots. and it can also focus on faces like dee's cam. thats best for ppl who like to cam-whore like yours truly, ME. hehe! finally get to meet my potential mum-in-law *blushblush* and his pretty sis. Alhamdullillah...but my heart went standstill and i wasnt at ease. that shows that im nervous. LOL. it was a first at fendi's hse and we made it memorable by watching simpsons. haha. im totally in loooove wif fisza's room. wish i have a room like that in future(dream on nisa). n loveed the kish(spelling?) that Jab's mum made. turns out she likes to bake. must ask the recipe from her. hehe! found out that marina likes to help prepare drinks and are friendly with mothers. our very own dayang. thats a plus sign i guess =)) and i like the living room concept from fiszo's hse. very modern and contemporary. and ayang's hse too, very homey and romantic lighting. (ps: i like to see hw ppl deco their hses-haha). was shocked to receive a green packet but owells. hehe. lastly farhan's hse where i nearly slept on the bantal but was woken up wen his family came home. the food there was superb (they can agree with me). as it was ardy late, followed fendi to meet his boss and baby sent me home after that. din get to visit hamzah's hse but its okay. overall love the time spent for this raye outing. =))

p.s: dear was extremely noisy in the car (actually most of the time) until i had to shush him up. hahaha. dun take it seriously aites. u are still adorable, as always. hehe! hopefully i get some pictures form the 2 available cameras... =) http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/nisaaini/DSC00022.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket">

met my lesbian partner on mon(29/10/07) cos she had to return her uniform from her previous job. she quitted cos of some personal issues. accompanied her to go for her interview for her NEW job at build-a-bear @ vivo. haha. same place as nana ey. then we went window shopping and she tempt me to buy a top but i refused(chey chey). was saving up some money to buy smthin else, more EDUCATIONAL. hahaha. then we head down to nyp and i bought my first-ever very bulky med-surg textbook. it costs ard 70plus bux but it was worth it. regretted not buying during my 1st year in poly but bought it in my final year instead(what the hell nisa). then carried the book all the way to yishun gym and we spent more then 2 hours working out. qid was abit shy cos there were many guys ard, esp when theres a grp of them watching and smiling at us from far. our warmups and cool downs was in the toilet(haha) where we jumped ard and recalled our funkish'tique choreos. (i miss dancing).

http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/nisaaini/DSC01333.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"> Look at my horrendous way of eating. kalahkan kucing!!!

http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/nisaaini/DSC01334.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"> at BK @ vivo

http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/nisaaini/DSC01341.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"> me at gym

http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/nisaaini/DSC01342.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"> muka ada sinyuuum

http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/nisaaini/DSC00023.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"> otw home...feeling all hyped up!!

on tues(230/10/07) went johor wif mama and uncle sam. mama can be my shopping partner as she likes to shop like me. heheee. can stop stuffing myself with food seh. but the food there is nice...me and mama always got drifted away in the mall and uncle sam always had to look for us. hahah. he kept distubing us saying, " ehh hurry up now 12midnight aready" padahal only 6pm and the sky still bright. wen he browsing tru guy stuffs we will disturb him back using the same tactic. LOL. bought a few stuffs and glad ayang din nag at me for spending hehe. the car boot was full wif mama's stuff. went home early as uncle sam felt abit sickly. wish can shop wif mama more often. hehe!

http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/nisaaini/DSC01382.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket">http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/nisaaini/DSC01386.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket">http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/nisaaini/DSC01371.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket">

http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/nisaaini/DSC01383.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"> me wif mama. face kena cut off!

i miss school.. a short trip to school on mon was refreshing. they renovated the canteen and its freaking nice now laaa!

i miss my classmates... REUNION ON 10th NOV!

i miss dance... body gets all stiff now and miss the stage.

i miss my darlingss.. BSK KORANG JGN BUBBLE LAGI AH KAY? miss u guys many2.

i miss my ayang.. WHEN CAN I MEET U AGAIN HUH? and next tym get one extra rose. (ps: let me win once in a while la kay?- muacks!) hehe..

and i miss studying for exams and rushing for assignments. (what the hell sia)

all in one.

2007-10-21T22:40:00.000-07:00

happy happy weekends.

sat went to careerfair @ suntec with the twins. wasnt what we expected it to be. the job booths was mostly insurance type, business etc. not our types. hahahaaa. nutin related to healthcare except paramedic. not really what i would like to work as cos im sooo not an on-the-spot-thinking and on-the-go kindof person. lol. so i'll pass.

then we went in search of baby clothes for kint's anak sedara. all going crazy looking at the cute bajus and nicely wrapped packages. took so long to make a decision. kint asking me to quickly get a child so she can be a godmother. no comments. haha.

then went home to see guests pouring in. cik khamis and family, then cik lala and family, dad's fren and family, then cik sidek and wife with their children and their granchildren. all three generations hahaha. mama came earlier on friday. its fun having all these people around. a time when makcik2 all gather and talk (good stuffs of course haha). and me doing what else but promoting my cookie and layaning their active children. ahhahs...

sun met the stageArts dance peeps for jalan rayer. =)) supposedly only the four anak dara i.e asz nad dee and me. but nad brought bf arief along and i brought my ayang. so atleast my dear wont be left alone and feeling all shy when it comes to girls. hehe. we had fun reminiscing poly dance times and gossiping about fellow members HAHA. since me and nad have our own partners, dee and asz paired up as one. LOL. felt like i was bullied alot cos of me being blur but atleast dear was there so it wasnt that bad hehe. unexpected lookalikes; asz (siti sarah), dee (Nora J) and me (sharon ismail). took many many many many many pictures and pictures will be uploaded soonish. =))

next outings: hopefully on wednesday wif darls, saturday with ayang and friends, sunday with JC peeps (not confirmed). no more sewa bus like past few years. Not sure if i ever get to go rayer with NR0511 peeps cos of clash in our schedules. and once again no rayer with unity friends. how sad....rindu korang sangat-sangat. =(

in the meantime im jus slacking at home 24hours waiting for people to ask me out. tangan da gatal nk shopping ni... (macam betol je nk revise during my 5weeks break.) wahahahahaha...

im outs... wana watch tv.

wth... kinda true actually.

2007-10-16T18:31:00.000-07:00

an email i received by pendek ages ago. haha. just for laughs.

A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does.
An Experienced Nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up

A Graduate Nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you can't read it.
An Experienced Nurse doesn't wear a name badge for liability reasons.

A Graduate Nurse charts too much.
An Experienced Nurse doesn't chart enough.

A Graduate Nurse loves to run to codes.
An Experienced Nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes.

A Graduate Nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.
An Experienced Nurse doesn't want anyone to know they are a nurse.

A Graduate Nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.
An Experienced Nurse writes on the back of their hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.

A Graduate Nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.
An Experienced Nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them.

A Graduate Nurse can hear a beeping med at 50 yards.
An Experienced Nurse can't hear any alarms at any distance.

A Graduate Nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.
An Experienced Nurse doesn't want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.

A Graduate Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.
An Experienced Nurse lets the HCA give the patient a bath.

A Graduate Nurse thinks people respect Nurses.
An Experienced Nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.

A Graduate Nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.
An Experienced Nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.

A Graduate Nurse looks for a chance 'to work with the family.'
An Experienced Nurse avoids the family.

A Graduate Nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.
An Experienced Nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.

A Graduate Nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.
An Experienced Nurse will insert an in-dwelling catheter.

A Graduate Nurse always answers their phone.
An Experienced Nurse checks their caller ID before answering the phone.

A Graduate Nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.
An Experienced Nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.

A Graduate Nurse carries reference books in their bag.
An Experienced Nurse carries magazines, lunch, and some 'cough syrup' in their bag.

A Graduate Nurse doesn't find this
funny.
An Experienced Nurse does.

special people in my life.

2007-10-16T17:57:00.000-07:00

firstly i would like to make a birthday wish.

to someone who made me see the world and brought me up into the lady i am today.

to someone who stood up to my pri sch teacher who pinched me on the cheeks real bad.

to someone who made funny jokes and love to berangan dulu lawyer lah, doctor lah etc.

to someone who diligently send me off and fetch me back from work.

to someone who gave me lots of career, relationships and life advises.

to someone who can be both strict and caring at the same time.

to someone who kicked off the habit of smoking bcos of me.

to someone who called me "missy...missy..." (also known as nurse).

to someone who is a good role model to us and loves my mum.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYAH. =) 17/10/****

and to my baby boy, get well soon tau. dun keep eating chocolates je, eat veggies lahh. hehe. love u many-many...

neni poo-poo.

2007-10-15T22:54:00.000-07:00

i conquered the most gruelling challenge.

a dare that i thought i would never even imagine of doing.

and i did it in the bargained amount of time.

so here's the Dare:

for him to grab hold the back of my neck without me feeling all ticklish and laughing out crazy. Its far from easy for me.

and here's the obstacle i need to overcome:

tahan-ing the "torture" cos my neck is a very sensitive area and even the slightest touch can bring waves of current all over my body. which will in turn make me shriek out like a mad woman. and i ever once (or twice) squat down in public pleading for whoever's hand to be OFF that area. Not a good sight. hehs.

and i managed to get it over with in like 3mins. wahaha.

im so proud of myself. =)

p.s: ayang i still think the dare that u did was tooo easy lahhh. hahaha...

beautiful day.

2007-10-12T17:19:00.000-07:00

selamat hari raya aidilfitri to all.

a month has past in an flash huh. hehe.

time to rejoice and celebrate with our beloved family and friends.

dress ourselves up in our newly bought bajus.

this year, it feels slightly different from the previous.

i miss my nenek so much.

her kisses, her hugs, her warm comfort and touch.

her sparkle in her eyes wenever she welcomes our arrival.

her wide smiles when she knows we still care for her.

she brings so much love to the people around her.

she's the person i look forward to meet every syawal..

chacha sayang ngn rindu nenek.

moga nenek dicucuri rahmat di sana...

to all my dear friends and darling, i seek ur forgiveness in times of wrong and lets embrace this festive occasion. makan byk2 kay. hehe!!

love nisa.

making me stronger

2007-10-08T08:44:00.000-07:00

im unsure of my own feelings.

why is it still playing in my mind?

im well aware that its done and over.

it has nothing to do in my life anymore.

it is wad i regard as a bad past.

trying to keep the hatred feelings towards that past.

but seems like his shadows are still lurking ard.

unwanted memories.

of that certain place. that specific song. that simple gesture.

i felt sinful just by reminiscing back.

seems like humans tend to remember hurting events more than happy ones.

and its a secret i kept to myself.

trying to force all that away.

guess i still need time. more time then i ever thought i needed.

now, i've found my true love who will help me overcome it.

and im blessed to have such unconditional love and support from my other half.

and i will not let a rotten past upset my happiness in future.

i jus pray to God that time heals everything and make me much stronger.

a comeback.

2007-10-08T07:26:00.000-07:00

im back.

so time for a proper entry. nyehs..

at this present moment, im all cramped up underneath a table in a darkly lit room.

its kinda hot and stuffy so pardon me if my entry dun make much sense. heehee.

well...

im jus glad i cleared all my academic modules. a few surprises of As and a D. tak sia-sia aku ber-filming sane-sini for my FYP. hua hua..

and im also glad all my postings are OVER. not for the final crucial one that is.

geron: love the working environment. HATE the ward sister aka kepale senget haha. reports after reports, going crazy over the case-studies. the ohh-so-demanding but adorable auntie of bed 14. staffs who dun really remember my name, but jus relate me as the eyeliner girl. three weeks of heaven and hell all wrapped into one. hehs..

A&E: interesting. i mean verrrry interesting. being stationed in Triage (as pronounced either try-age or tree-arge) made me giggle in amusement each time a crappy case showed up. a drunkard who came repeatedly, reeked in alcohol smell saying he has fever but with temperature of 36.4deg. wth..and those frequent MC-seekers. TELL ME ABOUT IT. haha. well we're actually brilliant actors trying to play along wif their so called unrealistic complaints. and then there were times when i had to give countless painkiller injections at the buttock and plenty of ECGs. too bad there wasnt any opportunity to view an emergency case, if there is then there wld be sumone to jump on the bed and do a CPR. that would be so cool. hehe. a friendly angmoh doctor who is well versed in all languages, Dr Travers. and i cant forget the incident when i called someone who was wearing a tudung MAKCIK and we spoke so casually only to find out the next day that she was the NURSE MANAGER. mampos aku paisey dibuatnye. haha..

OT : changed into OT attire wif ugly footwear. donning of apron, gown, gloves and mask transforming into ninja turtle (thats what we affectionately call each other.) scrub and assist surgeons in minor surgeries. adapting to each surgeon's working style, both good and bad. fish market scenes, bloody yellow boots, burning smell from the diathermy machine. having break time in a small corridor where we usually crapppp ard. the whole theatre area was freaking cold till i felt my teeth chattering underneath my mask. (secretly i was wearing double clothings to keep myself warm hehe). It was a nightmare having someone getting up close and pulling ur bulu tangan all the time. not only pulling BUT attempting to comb them neatly. (well i dun mind if it happens once or twice but it happens all the time. it can make me think differently abt the person especially if its a SHE who goes ard saying "nisa wo ai ni" or otherwise "nisa i love u" to everybody. too much touchy here and there is a big no-no for me. haha...p.s: eh korang dahla stop it la eh jgn kacau aku lagi pasal dier. dah serik. HAHAHA.

so now with all that done, im left with 5 weeks of break. holidaying? hmmm maybe, maybe not. its a pleasure to disturb my love about my so-called "off days". haha..

Hari raya in less than a week's time. baju? -checked. kuih? -checked. cleaning and furnishing the house? -not yet. hehe...guess this year's festive celebration is slightly special now with someone special in my life. =) looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him. hehe..

my tummy is completely full since just now. ate lots of cheesy stuffs from pizzahut. thanks to all the darlings for the late bday treat. we made a scene by making all sorts of stupid gestures. sumpah kecoh la korang. tapi tetap aku sayang. haha menyampahhhh. four new members! neez aka kalsom, aisah aka sapiah, sis mala aka maimon, siti aka saodah. welcome to the club. hehehs.

time check: 2.24am. nite2 and sleep dreams to me. =)

im back. heheh.

2007-10-05T04:12:00.000-07:00

my net is ALIVE.

i'll be back.

oudated entry plus wishes...

2007-09-17T16:15:00.000-07:00

holaholaholaholahola!

firstly, would like to wish my baby darling a HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY!!!

to my dear, wish u all the happiness in the world, be strong and in pink of health, be loved and cared for by all the lovely people ard u (including me-ehem), be successful in ur future endevours and just live life to the fullest! Time is running out, ur a YEAR OLDER! wakaka. (just kidding- ur forever young at heart rite. haha) love ya to bits and pieces!!

and to me, happy belated bday. haha. thanks for all the wishes i received since that day. really touches my heart la dey. hehe! muacks love u all lah!!

hatiku berdebar2 banget siiiih. results blom release YET. just paid my fees n shld be receiving dem soon. i hopewishpray that i CLEAR ALL MY academic MODULES!!! jgn macam2 sehhhh. last year beb! ahhhhh!

and now my sister( as in WARD SISTER) wana have a meeting come feedback session cum appraisal day tmr! she will sit in wif the year threes and discuss who PASS OR FAIL! wahlao eh. got options one ah?? i tot we all will confirm make it thru seh.. haiz. berdebar2 hatiku ini...i tink im gonna have a clogged up artery awaiting to be burst. =(

ermmm wad else to rite before i leave this freaking freezing place. oh ya. SELAMAT MENJALANI IBADAH PUASE TO EVERYBODS.

byebyeeee~

sweet song....

2007-09-08T01:50:00.000-07:00

A particular song kept playing in my head.

=))
Ada Cinta by Acha Septriasa and Irwansyah

Ucapkanlah kasih satu kata yang ku nantikan
sebab ku tak mampu membaca matamu
mendengar bisikmu..
Nyanyikanlah kasih senandung kata hatimu
sebabku tak mampu mengertikan detar ini
sebabku meragu pada dirimu

Mangapa berat ucapkan cinta
padahal ia ada
dalam rinai hujan, dalam terang bulan
juga dalam sedu sedan
mengapa sulit mengaku cinta
padahal ia terasa
dalam rindu dendam hening malam
cinta... terasa ada...

let someone know u love them today.

2007-08-29T01:55:00.000-07:00

Its been a LONG while since i last blogged.
okay, for someone who USED TO frequent the net, that is.
so now im in sabariah's hse wif GAYAH jus having our lepak cum girl talk session.
=)

flashback... *lets make this brief...

23/08/07-24/08/07
OUR LONG AWAITED CLASS CHALET!
thank goodness our Mentor (whom we met only ONCE in yr 1),
sponsored a share of the chalet money.
haha.
it was fun fun fun and more FUN.
me and zaf got lost finding our way there (no surprise-haha)
n we're the only few souls there.
so me and zaf went strolling by the beach.
i took loads of GORGEOUS photos of the scenary.
my fascination for palm trees i guess. hahaha..
we laughed and screamed and sang to our hearts content.
SUMPAH ORG INGAT KITER DAH TAK BETOL.
from nasyid songs..to Raya songs...to hindi songs...to selamat pengatin baru songs..
Zaf cant wait to get married i guess. haha
we got drunk drinking ice lemon tea.LOL
there wasn't anyone around, so i was screaming everywhere.
so much so, to the extent that i literally LOST MY VOICE soon after.
amek kau ubat nisa...

then we head back down to the chalet to find others ardy there.
lidan and a few others bbq the food.
the girls did the bbq-ing, the GUYS did the eating. chehs!
there was plenty of food to go around... yummy.
we spent a few hours lepak-ing and bonding at the chalet
then me and 7 others decided to watch a midnight movie, HAIRSPRAY.
8 people cramped inside seishen's car sia. god pls help us. haha..
wen we got there, the the movie was ardy playing so we bought tix for 2am slot.
while waiting, me wani sus asz zaf audrey walked ard town taking stooopid pictures.
haha.
and ohhh. the movie was worth waiting.
=))
by the time the movie ended, i was physically and mentally tired.
dint have any rest since my last paper. hhah.
went back to the chalet to catch the sunrise but there wasnt any. chehs!
it was raining....
so we slept for ard 2 hours before we checked out.
it was a great spending time with my lovely NR0511 peeps..
its our last year... and we wont be going back to school anymore..
to think abt it, im kinda sad. =(
now is ATTACHMENTS and getting reading for the working world.
im soooooo NOT looking forward to that. hehe.
had alot of fun time wif u guys.
thanks for everything guys!
muacks!!!!!!!

27/08/07
supposedly me and the darlings planned to go ECP
but due to the heavy weather plus Batrisha was ill, we decided not to.
visited kak mala in her hse and played with that lil brat.
she was like having PMS i tell youuuu.
First she asked us to stand. then sit. then stand.
then hold our hands and make a circle and sing nursery rhymes.
THEN she wailed cos we weren't doing exactly what she WANTED us to do.
hahahahha.mcm2 la. nasib baik kau cute kalau taaaaakk...=)
den after that we went to Holland Village and sat at Burger King cos pendek was fasting.
den we slacked there and we head home soon after.
saloma wasnt there to join us. haiz....
babe, if ur reading this,
i feel sad and at the same time freaked out after knowing what happened to u.
just be patient kay...
HE IS SUCH A PSYCHO. GET OVER HIM.
like, gosh. i din noe that type of guys still exist.
gurl, ur a strong person kay...that kind of guys is sooooo WHATEVER.
we're always here when u need us.

28/08/07
went out with my sweetheart..hehe.
it was raining cats and dogs but he was driving so it was okay.
went Vivo to check out the sundress that sabariah said was nice.
to me, it was okay2 lahhh. hee.
my poor baby looked so tired..
he din have a proper sleep after work and he sacrificed spending time with me.
thats simply very sweet and adorable..
so we din walk ard much, just sat and talked.
after that we joined Marina and Fizzo Karaoke-ing.
SUMPAH it was my 1st tym sia.
it was funny cos they cnt seem to hear my voice.
they purposely made the volume lower to hear my voice BUT my voice went even softer.
HAHAHAHA. paiseyyyy nye.
had a great time with them plus my baby.. =))

pictures can be found at my multiply.
http://spasticnisa.multiply.com/

adious gota go!

2007-08-23T20:19:00.000-07:00

YAY-NESS.

EXAMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVER!!!

LETS PARTY PEOPLE!!! =)

what do i tink of the papers?
okay-okay lahhh.
1st and last paper was a breeze.
Management and Community Health was jhfrwehkgferklwgheg. But its okay, no use crying over spilled milk.
hehe.

i seriously need to catch up on my beauty sleep, entertainment, good quality food, shopping etc.
been mugging ALOT these past few days!
need to let down my hair! (literally)

Do u noe that late nights increases aging? = getting old faster.
that contributes to my dark panda eyes and dry, slightly wrinkled forehead.
Cramping chunks of information into ur brain at a go doesnt help much, really.
and im not a big caffeine-fan.
which is why im soooooo brain-tired.
so now... have an EARLY sleeping beauty rest.

and oh, my pimples have formed a colony on my forehead.
Due to increase in my stress levels + uncontrollable scratching and peeling. Tangan gatal. (hehe)
Dat too, have to be well-taken care off NOW.
zapppp those zits away.
be gone! (i hope)

bleahs.

and ive been munching junkies at home while studying.
Inbalanced, lack of variety, unhealthy choice of food.
and remained inactive at home = lack of physical mobility + reduced breaths of fresh air.
leading to extra adipose tissues on my abdomen.
that TOO, have to be monitored = eat less snacks and more proper meals PLUS more fun in the sun.
arghhhh i miss the gym. (cnt go for now cos of my knee pain.)

and nobody would have guessed that im smiling so wide while typing this.
post-exam excitement. nyehs.

chalet here i come!
plus many more outings with the darlings.
and oh, meeting the sweetheart. How i miss you so...

so many things to do, so little time.
better enjoy before my attachment starts!
one week to go, that is.

Note: Dearest friends, kindly send me an email with ur numbers. Ive lost some of my phonebook contacts. Thanks alot and i appreciate it.

HAVE a GREAT WEEKEND PEOPLE.

2007-08-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

Some issues kept lurking at the back of my mind.
The more i try to avoid them, the more they resurfaced.
So i decided to speak up and pose those questions.
Somehow or rather, they were genuinely answered.
Some wasnt expected to be heard, some was.
whatever it was, it made me smile.
I cnt seem to forget those precious moments.
Reminiscing back..
It went something like this.

Qn: U pamper me so much when we only recently got together. U dont know me well, yet u are willing to spend on me. I dont want others to have a bad impression about me. Sometimes i wonder if i deserve all this..

Ans: Money can be found anywhere. When i buy stuffs, i can always get it back when i work. Its not much of an issue. Money can buy lotsa things, but not love. There is one love, and that is u.

Qn: U have so much to offer. I'm not sure if i can repay u. I feel as if im not giving u enough to make u happy.

Ans: I accept whatever it takes. Im happy with watever it is. If u give me this amount or that amount, i will just accept it. Just do watever u think u need to do kay.

Qn: Sometimes i ask myself what did i do to deserve someone as good as u. If u happen to meet someone who is better looking (eg Jessica Alba- HAHA) then will u choose her over me?

Ans: There is always someone out there who are beter and more good-looking than us. What matters is that whether u like the person. If u put a model and a poor girl in front of me, if i have a heart over the poor girl, then i will not choose the model in the first place. Dont ever look down on urself kay.

Moments later...............

Him: Sometimes i wonder if i can match up to your beauty.
Me: Aik... You, urself told me not to look down on myself. And now ur doing the same. hahaha...
(Thinking) *The more in love a woman is with a man, the more physically attractive she finds him.* =)

With that said,
i went home as a happier, smiling-like-crazy person.

and i'm over the moon with my new phone. =)

wish i can keep this kind of smile on my face all the time...(NDP with Darls)

2007-08-10T02:29:00.000-07:00

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY CUM NURSES DAY!

and HAPPY BDAE TO MY SIS, AIN.

and HAPPY BADE TO ZAF AND SARAH!!

hehe...

GAWD I CAN GROW FAT EATING CAKES.
hehe...

sorry for the long updates.
no mood to blog nowadays.
plus the lack of time.
hehe..

so i will only write abt important issues.

celebrated Nurses Day cum National day in K garden.
it was okay...
the highlight was the BOLLYWOOD dance item by the lecturers.
gelek maut sia!!!!!!!
feewit...
especially ms jessica, cynthia and ambel.
MS BELLA LOOKS HOT OKAY.
hahaha...
the food was nice, inclusive of the cake.
as it was our last week, we took lotsa photos.
wahhhh my jaw felt like dropping.
but we had fun snapping pics.
cam-whores! hehe
seriously im gona MISS my school and frens...
*HUGS U ALL MANY-MANY...*
all the best to us for our Final year papers.
we can do it!!!!
hehe...

NR0511...

candid

kewl...

went to watch RUSH HOUR 3 yesterday wif darlings...
yeah!!! great show...
den watch fireworks..
*KINT AND SHIQ HANTAR AKU GMBR* hehe..
sweating away and packed like sardines..
i regretted wearing double layers sia. haha.
den we went lau pa sat to have AIR TEBU (mengidam sangat)
and we slacked and chill while walking
all the way to harbourfront MRT.
at one point of tyme, while crossing the road,
little miss CLUMSY (me) rushed, tripped and fell flat on the floor.
i sprained my left knee.
my NATIONAL DAY GIFT. haha...
i sat motionless on the floor not able to get up.
it was the SECOND TYME i sprained seh.. haiz.
two NICE and STRONG ladies (kint and shiq)
helped me up and literally CARRIED me all the way.
goshhhh.... paiseyyyy seh.
i was in pain but sempat ketawa cos they made me laugh.
btw, thanx bebs 4the help.
i really really appreciate it...
w/o ur help, i duno wat i will do.
melalak like a big baby maybe?
hehe...
and thanx to shiq's mum for sending me back home by cab.
=)

and to my baby.
hope ur not too worried abt my condition kays..
i will be fine after some urut by my granpa. (OUCH!)
i noe ur concern abt me...
i love you baby...

today our last day in school!!
duno weder i shld be happy or sad..
mixed feelings.
gona miss my frens seh.
wil mt u guys up during the chalet aite!
hehe...

im outs!

PS: for more photos, go to my multiply.
http://spasticnisa.multiply.com/

2007-08-07T00:43:00.000-07:00

HELP!!!!!!

MY ZITS ARE POPPING OUT AGAIN!!!

my cheeks used to be clear of pimples,

but now its invaded!

my forehead jangan cakap ah..

bleahs...

daym stress hormones.
=(

2007-07-30T00:03:00.000-07:00

outdated entry. hehe...
went to July Babies Bday chalet at Changi.
*Lyn, Oats and Fnd*
(20-22/7/07).
went on sat wif my baby. hehe...
it was a year-long planned chalet, it was a success.
ate nice food, made frens wif nice people..
i was the 2nd youngest among the group. i tink.
sat at the shaky bench where we nearly topple over. LOL
how often do u hear a 2year old say,
"why is the man wearing the hat?" haha...
helped make some decorations plus autograph session.
group foto shots taken felt like were we big stars. (padehal2)
they had fun. I had fun. everyone had fun.
sadly my baby had to go off work early..*sobsob*

pictures...

From left: Fnd, Lyn, Oats

something special for them... =)

Grp pic w/o my baby..

me and my cacat pose. lol

their cupcakes! *drools*

and ohhhhh.
FINALLY all 5 of us could make it. hehe.
met my darls last fri (27/7/07)
went out jus to chill and look for some stuffs.
me wanted to survey for a new hp cos mine died. hehe.
me and sabariah oso wanted to look for skirts
cos we tryin to be more "girly" haha.
potpouri skirts are daym nice but $$.
so we gona try search at Dhoby Exchange shops nxt tym..
i bought an outfitter top tt was on sale.
my baby joined us soon after cos he wanted to help me find phone.
but sadly the Starhub shops was closed at PS..
duno got wat event sia... Dinner and Dance or smthn..hahs.
so we head down to Starbucks at cathay to join my frens.
we prefer coffeebean to Starbucks actualli. owells..
chill ard, slacked. cam-whored. WOOOOO.
goli joined us soon after wif pedicured nails.
my baby trying to hide somethin from me. hmpt!
he unfolded the rose he suppose to give me,
and folded it back wo letting me see.
tryin to make me so geram. *cubit his cheeks*
but i guess all the more special ryte...
total i have 15 roses honey.
many more to come.. hehe.
njoyed the company wif the darlings plus my baby.
=))

for more pictures:
http://honeysticky.multiply.com/photos/album/3

ALHAMDULILLAH..
for several reasons.
-parents sort of approve our relationship. =)
-presented all my ICA projects! all done!
-baked cupcakes successfully. on my own!
-gona get a new fone soon!
-plenty of family bonding. i mean PLENTY.
-have a sweet and lovable darling in my life. =)

jus wished i cld spend more time wif more people.
so many things, so little time.
and (random), people wif attitude problem,
please reflect and change yourself.
please dont go ard showing ur temper to others
when u noe we cant be bothered.
save ur effort.
thank you.

exams ard the corner.
so work hard guys!
our final year!
chia YO!

2007-07-25T02:20:00.000-07:00

my fone died on me yesterday.

it just collapsed.
it's last few hours was traumatising.
it flickered hard, signalling its end of life.
and then it became slow...

attempts were made to revive it.
but still......

it finally died.

im gona miss u.

time to get a new one la sia!
hahs...

2007-07-23T01:16:00.000-07:00

today is a not-so-nice day for me. =(

felt like blogging.... but cnt find the correct words.

im still in denial.

shocked.

i noe i can do better. WAYYY better.

but i fumbled. and jumbled. and crumbled.

that made me wail like a baby.

heck, if that made me feel better then why not.

im a perfectionist.

i dun take failures well.

i crave for time. and lotsa practice.

and now my mind is still clogged.

i need help.

get myself back together. compose myself.

and now i feel sick. demam. daym.

dahla im going to balek rumah and have a good rest.

P.S: to kint, thx for the help beb. owaes there when needed.
to my baby, u helped me get thru this. thanks and i love u.

im in no mood to continue furthur....

2007-07-20T20:01:00.000-07:00

I MISS MY DARLS...
plus GOLI (not in picture).
hehe.
going out cam-whoring again sumday?
plus the coffeebean hangouts and filling up of our scrapbook..
next bday: mine.
*hint hint*
hehe...

OH MAGAWD.
first my baju. then my newly-bought black pants.
(jemur outside the house)
and now my sneakers!
its gone!
tried to find them ard the house.
the storeroom too.
and they simply disappeared.
planned to go gymming today but cancelled cos i cnt find my shoes!
searched the hse till i was late for lecture. haha
even mummy help me find till she's late for work too i guess.
da semangat nk work-out after a long while ni...
den kasut hilang.. pffffbt.
"ah tu la tknk check semalam, time nk kluar baru check.."
why shld i check my shoes the day b4 everytime i wana wear them mummy?
nyehs.

nisa...
moral of the story is;
dont place ur stuffs outside the house.
not the new ones especially.
period.
*sheesh....

ah balek carik lagi lar.
.......

2007-07-19T00:38:00.000-07:00

okay so i got Jessica Leong for assessment on tues.
and yeah she failed me. =(
and so did the rest.
got Function Skill test for the skills1
and she purposely removed some parts from the air viva bag
to see how i react to the situation.
and i made mistakes along the way,
especially my documentation.
owells....
the others got Airway mgt and they failed too.
BY HER.
somehow there were unhappiness gg ard in our class
cos those who were assessed by kamala all passed.
tho they made grave mistakes but were given a chance.
but the rest who got Jessica was given the Retest Form.
so we tot it was unfair.
nyehs....
satu malam tkle tido seeing her face in my dreams.
traumatising sia.. haha.
finally Ms jessica and Ms kamala had a long talk wif us
to clarify the unhappiness wif the whole class.
"you can afford to make mistakes in school, but not outside.
you wont be given a second chance."
hehs. kinda true actually.
in this way we're able to learn more tings.
to get the concept right.
not repeat the same mistakes and be better nurses.
so i guess i wont see failure as the end of the world.
but someting tt can make me improve.
hehe...

skills1 retest just now and i passed.
phew!
now need to focus on skills 2 wich is nxt mon.
hehs..

theory ppr over.
okay2 lar.
just wait for the results.
hehehehehe.
*prays hard*

attachment postings out ardy.
we've nvr been more excited abt attachments. haha.
especially where we're gona go out for our PRCP.
for me,
after exams will be Break week, followed by
3weeks: Gerontology at AH
1week: ED
1week: OT
5weeks: Break + Vacation Leave
2Days: HSE
12weeks: PRCP

owells...
maybe im fated to go Alexandra Hosp.
since year ONE. haha
YESSA my darlings will be dere too.
hehe..
and we will dance ard while doing dressings again.
AH Idols. haha!
"ketipang ketipang ketipong..." LOL
inside joke.
miss dose times.

gtg.
meeting me baby soon.
=)
toodles..

2007-07-16T00:52:00.000-07:00

haish!
dis means i will be assessed by JESSICA LEONG tmr!
1st skills assessment:-
Manual Resuscitator Function Test / Airway Management.
i wanted Ms kamala to assess me sooo badly seh.
i like her style of teaching and grading students.
she let us talk/ give rationales and time limit= 10minutes.
first 14 students in my class ardy tested by her.
however,
Jessica only want us to implement the skills and do in 1 minute!
i repeat....ONE MINUTE. or else she minus marks.
no talking watsoever.
so unfair sia...
and my name was not called out randomly by kamala jus nw.
so wich means im getting Jessica tmr!!
daym..
*prays hard*

kinda packed wif schwork nowadays.
skills 1(tues), skills 2(nxt mon), theory ppr(wed),
ICAs: Breast Cancer(nxt wk), Deskilling(nxt wk), Breastfeeding exhibition(nxt 2wks),
Nursing project product submission(nxt 3wks)...
so now im researching abt the machines( tk dpt2 the info), CA breast info submitted.
2 ICAs need to be done in a week!
blah blah blah...
HS3041 theory paper revision untouched. hehe.
see, nisa owaes do last minute...
habes nanti kena nag by my ayang. hehe.
he nag oso shows he concern abt me. =p
so trying to cramp stuffs into my brain,
and multi-task wenever possible..
CBT pon havent watch yet.
tmr's tutorial havent completed.
heheheehhe. haiyahhhh.
I HAVENT EVEN HAD A PROPER MEAL FOR THE DAY.
hungry...
dang!
watver..
i need to complete watever shits tt nd to be completed.
so to say i have to STOP blogging now!
hehe.

ehhhhh wait...
my ayang ardy start his proper shift work.
so he wun get to contact/ meet me as often.
he's gona tell me abt his schedule soon.
goshhh i miss my baby lar.
hehe.

we did each other a favour.
wich is to throw watever things tt reminded us of the past.
anw, it isnt of any use anyway.
so no use keeping watver memories each had last tym.
so now we only focus on the present and future.
no more turning back.
we have a lifetime together ryte baby.
hehe.
miss ya honey.

kay dah...
my eyes red and watery!
back to projects!

2007-07-12T23:22:00.000-07:00

I will never find another lover
sweeter than you, sweeter than you
I will never find another lover
more precious than you, more precious than you

Boy you are
Close to me you're like my mother,
Close to me you're like my father,
Close to me you're like my sister,
Close to me you're like my brother
You are the only one my everything
and for you this song I sing

All my life I pray for someone like you
I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I pray for someone like you
I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me too

Said I promised to never fall in love with a stranger,
You're all I'm thinking of I praise the Lord above,
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug,
i really love ya..

You're all that I've ever known,
your smile on your face, all I see is a glow,
You turned my life around,
You picked me up when I was down..
I hope that you feel the same way too,
Yes I pray that you do love me too..

feeling lovey-dovey today.
hehehe....

2007-07-11T21:43:00.000-07:00

the past weekend was awesome.
spending tym wif ur loved ones can nvr fail to make ur day,
can it? hehe..

as im in the middle of my Deskilling project,
i tink i'll make dis entry brief yups.
plus its raining and im freezing and nose sniffing
and my fingers are so numb and my mind is blank.
bleahs..

sat (07/07/07) nice date seh.
movie marathon wif my baby.
Harry potter series plus some oder movies.
at least i have somebody to nudge wen in doubt.
*winks*
njoyed myself the whole day.
hehe..
dear wanted a day away from family and friends.
only me and him, him and me.
i treasure every moment we're together.
hehe..

Sun (8/7/07)
supposedly a family day,
but i went ahead to watch Transformers again wif my dear.
for the SECOND TYM but im nt sick of it seh! hehe
his frens (hamzah, fnd and lyn) book the tixs
and they joined us too.
fnd asked me to take a driving license
but i told him i dowan cos i ardy hv a personal driver.
hehe.
coincidentally i was wearing a top that says,
"Gotta love a guy who can drive!"
and i showed it to him and he laughed. LOL
then marina joined us and we ate dinner at al-ameen.
lyn's choice. hehe.
im still wondering how they can tickle my dear.
i still dun hv the technique.
guys! teach me tickle-me-elmo so i can tickle him!
heheh..

mon(9/7/07)
went to watch ayang's POP after sch wif asz.
Maritime Policing Course at Pulau Brani.
its a short ceremony, but dear looked so smart seh!
wow...
P.S: i have a thing for guys in uniform. hush hush..
hehe!
me and asz camwhored at that place.
its soooo peaceful we loike!
let the pickas do the talking yups.
(shant post the parade pics cos of certain reasons.. hehe)

the invitation card...(mcm card jemputan lol)

the PCG boat..

me and asz posing. love the background!

me and my Mr Policeman. =)

looking at the time now.
1.48pm. yikes...
lecture coming up soon.
gtg. hehe.
tata!

2007-07-06T23:17:00.000-07:00

wah liao.
so long never update again.
hehe!
since i got tym now better update.
later some people bising. hehe!
i noe u guys missed me kan kan kan?
=p
i have a feeling dis will be a loooong entry.

recap recap.

Fri (29/06/07)
we redo our Nursing project video after sch.
went to maureen's hse instead of my granny's.
change of plans as usual. nyehs.
the baby bath part was torture.
im the voice narrator, asz n xueyuan as the nurses,
maureen as video woman, audrey the 'director', the doll as the baby.
every little step has to be planned out.
every little move is crucial.
in one small step, we took 4-5 takes.
every angle needed to be perfect.
no hand blocking the baby's face, no background noises,
no camera-shaking, no this and that.
thats y it was torture.
haha.
they were tired of doing e steps, i was tired of talking.
imagine the same tings again n again. bleahs!
next we had to act out a roleplay.
nurse=xueyuan
asz=mother
me=grandmother
doll=baby
audrey=camerawoman
the play was interesting.
dey said i was born to act auntie2 roles.
chet!!!
i used an umbrella n a basket, walking ard limping,
going to the market.
basically all i need to do was nag at e mother(asz).
easy enough. da biaser buat. hehe..
p.s: read on to find out wat happened to e videos we took.
haiz...

sat (30/06/07)
met my honey.
he fetched me from my hse n we went to vivo.
as i was wearing short pants,
my legs felt hot as his bike was heating up.
his bike wasnt meant for Asian weather
so it gets heated up fast. hehe..
din really wana windowshop
but jus wana sit dwn n talk..
felt so happy wenever im wif him..
n i learnt smthing new everytym.
*winks*
felt like i wana turn back the time
or freeze the moment wenever we're together.
was abit emotional at one tym
but glad he understand..
reading back my previous msges from wan
suddenly made me tink bck abt the past..
the more i try to forget, the more it came back.
im so lucky to have him by my side
to cheer me up and bring bck the smile to my face.
thats y i decided to delete all my previous msges
to have more memory space n oso to forget the past.
its hard n it takes tym..
to rai, if u're wondering y me n wan broke up,
its because we lack trust, support and communication..
our rlp leads to nowhere..
history kept repeating n im sick of it..
despite endless attempts.
thats y we drift apart..
sometyms i tink that it sucks to break up wif wan
for the third tyme..
but actually its a hidden blessing.
if not, i wouldnt have met HIM.
n i wldnt have been THIS happy.
hopefully he is THE one.
=)
weeeee.

my baby..

wed (4/07/07)
after sch met up wif saloma n sabariah.
planned to go out as a grp but unexpected tings came up.
so the others was excused.
u owe us gayah n asmah. hmpt!
watched tranformers at PS
it was a hellava great movie.
surprising as i dun quite fancy action movies. hehe.
it was their 2nd tym watching but dey insist on
watching it again wif ME.
awwwww so sweet. nyehs.
den we went far east to shop
as me n sabariah da tangan gatal pocket da berat.
we bought a bag each at zinc, i bought a 'belt',
sabariah bought 2 tops if im nt wrong ar.
went to zara to checkout the sales.
it was cheap sia. geram je seh.
but too bad i din hv enough money to spend. =(
saloma went home wif tangan kosong haha.
trio amigos are back!!

thurs(5/07/07)
Nursing project presentation.
last minute sorting out of who present wat.
den suddenly all panicked.
half of our videos was GONE.
last week we kept changing mmc as there was lack of memory space.
den we got mixed up as to who's mmc
e oder half of our video is saved in
mampos sehhhhh.
open all mmcs, nowhere to b found.
we argued cos mayb audrey transfered all to her laptop ardy.
but she said she dint.
den dey said dey used my mmc all along.
but it wasnt found inside.
wonder where it went seh.
din touch my camera since dat day,
so there's no possibility of me accidentally deleting it.
n we found out ON THE DAY of our presentation.
baik ar.
ms lai bew meng was sick n she nearly cancelled the tut.
but seishen's grp insist on presenting tt day.
we told her our problem n LUCKILY e product
only need to be submitted 2wks later.
so we present wat we can n went ahead.
overall, it went well. yessssa.
happpppy nyer kiterrrr. hua hua hua.
=)
yg video tu, blakang criter.
we will video AGAIN. owells...

den our class had to helpout wif the graduation.
me n asz was assigned to nursing students wif merit.
it was kinda chaotic as we sort dem up acc to deir seat no.
we had to wear formal attire seh. haha
watching the ceremony was both tear-dropping and hilarious.
sad that we only hv a few months b4 graduation
n we kept visualising ourselves up on stage nxt year.
wearin the gown walking on stage as our names are called.
asz plan nk pakai kasut pink, wani kasut neon green.
just to catch audience attention.
suker hati korang la.
hahaha.
den we did our 'linkway to lounge' duty
and me n suyi said' gd evening' to the guests enetering the door.
haha! for fun je. senyum kene extra manis. lol.
refreshments was okay. the sweet sour fish was awesome.
mcm nk tapao bring back home.
hehe.
den we took photos in the lounge
as tho its OUR graduation.
ber-feeling2 ajer. =p

NR0511. love these guys!!

outdated pic. i miss my straight hair. hehe. asz gona kill me for posting this pic. LOL

cnt wait to meet my baby.
getting darker oooops.
hehe.

bdae shoutout.
HAPPY 20TH BDAY TO MA CUZ:
NUR SHARIFAH
aka kakak nono. =P

gota go.
nisa signing out.
*poof*

2007-06-27T00:37:00.000-07:00

been long since i updated.
wakakaka.
comp spoil for the moment.
so the only tym i can blog is.....
wen im in sch doing project.
i miss blogging larx.
hehe..

i wonder hw i can sustain myself
being in dis subgrp.
tinking back.. gosh i made it dis far.
tolerating every single attitudes
my grp member have shown me.
no matter how tough it is for us to unite
and complete our projects as a team,
dere will alwaes be miscommunication or unhappiness gg ard..
as a result, our grades suffer.
not tt its extremely terrible or wat,
but its jus average.
wish it cld hve been better.. IF
-everyone is present in meetings
-distribute tasks equally (NO LAZY ASS)
-no last minute preps
-all agree on most decisions
-all hv the semangat to do well
-no "boss" who orders ppl ard but din do deir work
-no waiting for each oder to start working

im tired.
tired of being ordered ard.
tired of having to do smthn wich im NOT spossed to do,
and den it gets rejected bcos the person who is SUPPOSE
to do it is unsatisfied.
and we (the rest) have to redo everything again.
FOR GOD SAKES.
its not OUR part. its YOURS.
we ardy did OURS.
why dont u do it YOURSELF?
or at least show ur face during our meetings?
u said ur busy? -get a life-
hello, we're busy too.
if u suggest to redo our products again,
pls consider our dateline before making that decision,
wich is NEXT WEEK.
why see thru our progress,
and gave comments only wen the proj is COMPLETED?
u always do that... since YEAR ONE.
bingit seh..
we going to give one last chance.
u want us to film again? FINE.
Tmr 28june2007 after sch at my granny hse.
u BETTER BE THERE.
complete the filming like how u want it to be,
and the editing we leave it to u.
cos its UR part.
not mine, not asz, not xueyuan's.
we ardy did the booklet.
so work wif maureen to complete it.
by hook or by crook.
period.
hopefully dis nursing project turns out well..

okay, enuff of letting off my steam.
hehe.
*smiles*
last sat went out wif my dear.
since the day we got together,
he nvr fail to brighten my day.
adding bright colours to my life.
hehe..
went to bugis in search of our watch
but in e end only found mine.
thanks darling for the watch. *muacks*
nxt tym gona find hym a nyce red one like mine.
hehe.
felt like im being pampered alot...
bought me stuffs, show care and devotion to me etc.
love my baby soo much.
i wish we can be together till our last breath honey.
=)

ive met most of his frens..
so far so good.
they were frenly and approachable.
received warm welcome into the grp.
the responses i got frm dem is:
Im nice and sweet. hehe.
hopefully dis impression stays throughout. lol
and one day he will get to meet my frens
and den dey willgive comments lak eh.
jengjengjeng. hehe.

okay i bid farewell wif this quote:

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.

- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

take care everyone!!
=)

2007-06-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

aloha!
stuck in eplaza doing project.
cold and hungry nisa.
i hate it wen i cnt stand the cold.
makes me shiver alot n my mind nt functioning well.
even my fingers are kinda numb
as i type dis entry.
bleahs!!

moving on..
went out wif suome on sat.
shant elaborate on whu he is
but one thing for sure he makes me very happy.
and special.
and wanted.
and cared for.
and loved.

im the luckiest gal..
never felt dis way for a long tym..
feel so secured..
im hoping dis bond between us will go far.
*wish*
but currently, im trully blessed.
thank God i found him in my life.
=)
glad he liked my cookies.
thnx for the lil roses..
p.s: I.L.U

on sunday went to 2 weddings
1st at jurong (tas's sis wedding)
2nd at Bukit Batok.
met some of my JPS classmates
miss them sooo much!
saw Fad, Naz, Tas, Al
and dey were the kendarats. hehe
we hugged and had a brief talk wif e/o.
dey are getting prettier dats for sure.
i had to wear specs cos of my red eyes.
normah tk habes2 ngn her red eyes.
dang!
fad and naz asked me out go clubbing on wed.
their jaw dropped wen dey heard i dun club.
club virgin ar katekan.
"ur a dancer in sch and u dun club??"
haha!
my mouth went silent wen dey asked
abt me and wan. haiz..
took some pics (TAS SEND ME THE PICS!! hehe)
and had nice food dere. yummy!
den went nenek's hse meet
my lovable adorable cute cousin
LUQMAN. =)
home sweet home.

okay.
sidetrack abit. haha
need to go back to my projects.
so sian.
ciao.

btw i need to scream.
oooooooh i feel good!!
tadadadadadada.
=)
nisa giler.

2007-06-14T00:34:00.000-07:00

in sabariah's hse rite now.
comp temporarily down.
so sad rite.
boo hoos.
so yeah.. tym to update!!
hehe.

last fri(8/06/07)
after school, met up wif sabariah
went to bugis to 'shop'.
bought maself a Diva necklace and hair dye.
walked2 ard the place.
kecian si sabariah tk bawak duit.
HEHE.
maaf yer.
nxt tym aku ajak kau kuar aku blng kau.
den kau leh bwk $ lebih sikit. hehe.
saw a girl. (MY CLONE)
same hair colour n highlites as me.
so cute sia.

sat(9/06/07-11/06/07)
had a family chalet at costa sands.
3 days 2nights.
bbq all kinds of food.
satay, hotdogs, prawns, tulang, mee,,
OMGOSH.
whole cuzzy n aunts n uncles came by.
it was fun.
karaoke at 4am!
imagine dat! hehe
skali skala gathering mcm gini kan best.
hehe.
asked sabariah n saloma to come over.
hehe.
pics:

tues(12/06/07)
had a class outing at ecp.
it was a very windy day n we had
a difficult tym setting up the fire.
HAHA.
luckily sumone came up wif the idea
of covering the flames wif tikar.
haha.
we celebrate the june babies bdae.
seishen n elsa.
hangout till late at night.
FUN FUN FUN.
here's the pics:

okay.
hope u njoy the fotos!

tata titi tutu!!!!

2007-06-08T01:33:00.000-07:00

If I had one chance to
In my life again
I wouldn't make no changes
Now or way back when
And if everything turns out
The way I hope it goes
But I cant wait to find out
What it is that God knows

But I don't wanna think about
What's gonna come around for me
I'll just take it day by day
'Cause it's the only way
To be the best that I can be

I never pretend to be something I'm not
You get what you see, when you see what I've got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand
And all I can do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
'Cause this is the real world,
I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am

And nothing's ever perfect
There's no guarantee
And if I knew the answers
It would put my mind at ease
So I'll just keep on going
The way I've gone so far
And maybe I'll end up
Tryin' to catch a fallin star

Baby this is who I am
Don't need you to understand
'Cause everything is right where it should be
It wont be long til you know about me
'Cause I don't give a...
Even when I'm out of love
'Cause everythings just how it should be
And it wont be long till you know about me..

2007-06-07T00:59:00.000-07:00

its building up in me.
the stress level is slowly rising...
datelines need to be met.
workload is heavily pilling up.
time is money.
these projects is slowly making me go crazy.
im starting to talk to my fingers.
help!

haiya.

i need:
a backrub.
my sleep.
a break.
time.

i want:
to pull out my remaining hair.
to sleep.
to sleep.
to sleep.
to sleep.

oh fark.

ive been tinking alot to myself.
wat future may bring...
i went to e job recruitment drive yest.
i heard competition among nurses is high.
will i be able to secure a job?
where will i work,
AH, NUH, SGH, KK?
i heard AH is veri difficult to get in.
im considering NUH or SGH.
mayb bonding wif SGH if posb.
bt iv nvr been attached dere.
culture SHOCK sia.
haha.
haish.. duno lar.
=(

nisa, always remember u can do it.
dont be stressed.
bcos stress causes cancer.
hehehehe.
so smile people.

on a brighter note,
im falling deeper and deeper.
these feelings i just cnt control..
tried to avoid it, but it keeps coming back.
i din search for it, but it search for me.
used to tink that ive no more hopes for it,
used to tink that im hopeless in it.
used to tink tt im not worth for it.
and the "it" im referring to is...

love.

and the "it" makes me smile everyday.
=)

syukur alhamdullillah.

2007-06-02T03:17:00.000-07:00

2 more down in a week.
PHEW!
now left wif 3 more ICAs to go.
n i bet dere's more cumin up
cos dere's new modules soon.
n i heard deys ard 2-3 more ICAs planned up.
wahpiang. can die.
watever it is,
i will put in my best for this final year.
i must and i will.
insyaallah.
chey chey. =)

last wed
we celebrated the April and May babies
in our class.
errrr,
carmen, audrey, suyi, maureen, may, winnie...
i tink dats it.
cant rem all of dem HEHE.
Lidan bought a blueberry fruit cake for us.
initially she tot its not HALAL
until she called up the cake shop. haha
paranoid sia she. lolx.
yummy yummy.
happy bday eh u all.
mine will be in PRCP time.
who wana celebrate my bdae wif me?
=(

cake!!

on thurs,
vesak day holiday!
went to saloma's hse to chill.
kesian dier, alone at home kan?
hehe.
she so proud of her new bed. LOL
double-deck sumore.
we searched all the vcds to watch
at last settled for HINDUSTAN.
lerrrr. haha
mohabbateein (i tink i gt it right)
sweet movie.
i wish all love stories are like dose in movies.
happy jek. (dream on)
btw, sabariah kept calling asmah TICA
instead of pendek, like we usually do.
DA KENAPE NGN KAU HAR?
hehe
i tink saloma's hse gt an effect on her.
amin...
ate nice custard dere.
time spent wif my darlingsssss...

lepak session.=)

on fri (yest)
cabot lect after sch
met saloma, sabariah n joyah
went junction 8 to hv our lunch
den sabariah hd to go bck to sch for her lab
n joyah had to take her driving license
so left me n saloma gg crazy
over sales dere.
heheheh.
korang nk shop pegi je larr...
i dowan to feel guilty holding u guys bck
cos i've no money.
having financial probs now..
sry babes..
i noe u all tgh tangan gatal kan?
HAHA.
but wat to do..
i will join u all wen i'm more stable kays.
don worry. peace. =)

after dat me n normah
went to the warehouse sale near raffles hotel.
it sucks.
not the teenagers kinda style.
it wasnt wat we expected to be honest. =(
den went back to cthall
n waited for sabariah to meet us frm sch.

wen we're bored... ISH2

ahhhhh.NICER. at the staircase.

den i went to suntec
and marina to TEMAN dem shop.
me try not to spend ar... hehe
but at last bought a tank top
tt costs 33bux for 3.
okayla tu.
so oni 11bux. HEHE
red hot beb.
sabariah suggested a week oni job.
cnt wait to findout e details.
den home sweet home.
me having cramps n saloma having tummyaches.
bladder n bowel probs je ar. HAHA

i cnt contact anione in the meantime.
ppd running low.
i tink i find it more peaceful
w/o having to contact anione.
gone wif the fone man.
i don need u. HEHE
prolly cos i dun miss that someone.
im sorry, but its true.
i dont miss you.
n you know it.
i cnt force myself to miss sumone rite?

n today,
im spending my day at home.
SATURDAY at HOME.
how interesting.
okayla bye.
i need a bath.

oh wait.
in case u guys confused,
we're using kampong names to replace
our REAL names. haha
me = normah
kint = sabariah
shiq = saloma
goli = joyah/gayah
pendek = asmah
=)

bye pple!

2007-05-28T00:24:00.000-07:00

last sat, met my darls.
went sabariah's hse to hangout.
i was late as usual.
normah...normah. HEHE.
nearly fell aslp in bus 188.
dey picked me up from the bustop,
den we head to bukit merah interchge.
cos sabariah nd to get dis anti-virus tingy.
played dis stupid BUT FUN game. haha
merepek eh kitorang...

went bck to her hse,
and 1st ting i do is... EAT.
nasi lemak power. hehe
her mum was dere too.
initally we planned to jus hangout
BUT dey found out dey hv probs wif deir projects.
last min crisis seh.
i tried to help dem along the way ar.
so the tym was spent doing projects.
HAHAHA.
printed pics for our scrapbook.
i hafta admit,
gal, ur bed is kinda hard to sleep on! haha
but ur room is sooper clean. as usual.

den we bake a choc cake
it doesnt look nice but it tastes lik heaven..
YUMMY.
offer sum to her mum
but she let us eat all. haha

den we watched vcd
but too bad tym wasnt on our side..
had a great tym wif the babes.
=))

some pikchas:

choc cake wif choc icecream n choc fudge on top. plus milo dinosaur~ WEE

JU_ON sequel....

okie.
more pictures will upload nxt tym kays.
for now...
TAKE CARE ALL.
=))

2007-05-25T09:18:00.000-07:00

woots.
finally back home.
time to update. hehe..

ive watched PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3.
thursday 24rd May 2007.
was broke but kinda forced la hehe.
njoyed the show wif the gurlies.
3hrs. mcm hindustan lei.
worth the watch.
JOHNNY DEPP is cute can?- omg!
huge crush.
i dun quite understand e story
cos of the language lar.
but overall, NICE.
=))

johnny depp :)

jus now aftr school,
met sabariah n saloma again.
went to accpany her mum to mustapha
buy sum stuffs.
her mum cute la sei.
call me sharon ismail LOL.
sent her home, lepak awhile in her hse
den went vivo.
checkout forever21 sale (so upsetting)
cos dere wasnt much diff in the prices, bleahs!
cheat our feelings. hahs.
slacked at coffeebean n camwhored.
im owaes being disturbed by dem.
hmpt!
aku tau la normah ni blur salu, tkya nk kacau je kay.
haha.
den saw akmal dere in his coastguard attire.
he was shy as usual but abit tanned.
cldnt chat for long cos he off to smwhere.
hehe.
den went in search for my lenses.
the new pair i jus bought KOYAK.
din buy cos dey nvr sell 1 pair onli.
basket.
now stick wif specs for tym being.
dey said i looked lik cikgu garang HAHHA.
watever.

im broke..
im so broke.
broke broke broke .
y am i broke at tyms wen i need money the most?
gerammmmm btol seh.
chehs...

girls hangout day tmr.
sabariah's hse.
hopefully asmah n joyah cn make it.
haha.
cnt wait!
choc brownie delight.

seems like my heart is drifting away.
two possibilities.
reel me in or let me sink.
watever fate has for me..

2007-05-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

school is so redundant nowadays.
start late, end early.
pantat.

okay.
to some, it may seem like a hoo-ray thingy.
thats wat i usta feel in sec sch.
"best nyerr balek siang."

BUT NOW.

"boring sak balek siang."

hahahaha.
ironic.
nowhere else.
hanya di poly.

n tmr,
i haf lessons from 12-3pm.
bleahs.
y cant dey squeeze two day's timetabble
into 1 day?
den can haf 1 day off frm sch.
at least BETTER KAN.

n now me n my frens kept tinkin.
nak come or skip. HAHAHA.
(pls dont follow us)
we jus tap n go.
but nowadays lecturer very smart.
call out our names randomly.
haiyohhh. kena once.
dont be mistaken.
im a good girl okay.

2 presentations nxt week.
almost done i tink.
i wonder why all groups meetup EVERYDAY
for project discussions.
my grp hardly meet at all.
we distribute our parts, find info,
gather info, tink of presentation methods,
rehearse n we're DONE.
chop chop.
n a work well done hehehe.
buttttt i'd rather meet up.
why?
-cos no need go home early LOL.

gymming wif zaf was great jus now.
i lifted weights can u believe it.
bleahs!
gymming everywk babe!
its a date..
dah semangat ni.

out wif the peeps tmr.
maybe, maybe not.
see how la if sabariah can make it.
hahs!

i cnt find an answer.
but i have hopes.
i still do.
for both of us.
pls dont take that hopes away frm me again..
i miss u.

2007-05-21T01:21:00.000-07:00

okay. i tink its enough.

when i read back my entries,
they all sound sooo DEPRESSING SIA.
hahaha.
like sumone whu needs serious counselling.

im even freaked out by my own words.
i tink i will scare my readers off soon.
cos of my writings,
shows how "happy" i am. hehs.

but thats the whole point of blogging kan.
to express myself.
in that current situation, current time.
and im not supressing it all inside.
i need a media to blurt it out.
for sure.
i can erupt like a volcano.
so be prepared.
not to mention curl up like a helpless kid.

im not exaggerating tings.
im not crying for attention, hell no.
all raw emotions. sumpah tk bedek.
wtf.;
acknowledge them.

tisk.
yang sudah tu sudah...
no point regretting.
no point pointing fingers.
wats done has been done.
n time to get OVER it.
one problem;
i dont know how.

i tink its less convenient
to spurt out personal stuffs in here.
im going back to the traditional;

PERSONAL DIARY.

where i can write watever i want.
thoa its less tiring to type than to write.
hehehe.

nonetheless,
im appreciative of lovely people ard me.
my angels.
sent from God to lift me off the ground.
to hold my hand.
to carve back the smile on my face.
the people whom i call, Friends.

**not forgetting other sweets out dere.
u noe who u are.
u are never forgotten.

now the onli person i need to care about
is Me.
i decide my own life.
all the years of putting others above myself
has put a strain on my back.
as someone once told me,
"you're too soft."
its time i love myself.
hell yeah.

oh gosh i neeed some therapeutic management.
shopping soon gurlies?

GREAT SPORE SALE larrrr.
woo hoo =)

n i miss the gym.

2007-05-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

im feeling like shit.

tears just kept flowing.

i just cnt take it.

heart felt like breaking apart.

life is so damn complicated.

dun bother asking me why.

i need time alone.

haiz.

2007-05-18T00:40:00.000-07:00

let me take a step back and evaluate my life..

ive been thinking alot to maself.

how long will this continue?

even if its settled, will it bother me again?

why cant i just express my feelings?

why does it affect me more then others?

am i too sensitive to feel what i feel?

why do i smile and laugh on the surface
but cringe and cry when nobody's noticing?

why must i put on a facade and pretend nothin is wrong?

why do i let others hurt me and not make it known
that im hurt?

why am i trying to feel what others want me to feel
but in fact im not feeling that way?

why am i always thinking of others BUT not myself?

what's wrong with me?

why cant u trust me as much as i trusted u?

why am i too soft-hearted?

I feel lonely.
so lonely to the extent that i feel single.
sumtyms im unsure if u miss me.
but i miss you.
trying to occupy my time wif frens and school.
why?
to take my mind off u.

cnt meet, cnt contact even?
dont be surprised if one day i totally forget about u.
why?
because you're drifting away.
you're disappearing.

i wana spend tym wif u.
but i cant.

i think too much?

i'm too sensitive?

it doesnt matter.

im just expressing myself.

I love you.
i want you back.

Learn to understand a girl's feelings.

i feel so lonely..

2007-05-13T05:22:00.000-07:00

i guess its true.
"Always there wen needed."
thanks for living up to the quote beb.
really appreciate it. =)

hang out wif kint darls yest.
wasnt feeling too gd abt sum issues.
that point of time i realli need a listening ear.
i nd sumone by ma side.
n i need sumone to assess my HS3054 skills too.
padehal2. haha!

so i dropped by her hse,
was welcomed by both her parents.
dey're such lovely pple. honestly.
n kint's mum was hilarious! kewl seh.
they fed me wif lotsa FOOD! n icecream!
wahhhhh heaven.
hangout in her room, download stuffs n watnots.
webcam-ing wif pendek. haha! so slenger.
dahla gigi putih, dahi kilat plak tu. haha
it was so much fun.
wish the other 'giler' ppl was dere too.
hehe.
n thx beb for being there.
jus had lotsa tings in ma head.
hope it doesnt bother u ehk.
maceh byk2. i owe u one. lol
happy revising. gd luck tmr.
jeng jeng jeng.

to mum,
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.
i love my ibu many2 lars.
muacks!

2007-05-11T20:38:00.000-07:00

okay.
quick updates abt my current week.
so far it has been kinda hectic.
haha..

skills 1 assessment on gowning and gloving
was over.
it went well, more then i expected.
because... i wasnt PREPARED that much.
i was weak on the gloving part.
gowning was okay.
the gloves need to be FULLY powdered for it
to slip on my sweaty palms.
i need to have skills and lotsa practice.
on top of dat, i need to b aware of contamination.
so the day before,
i peppered my gloves wif tonnes of powder.
n while i was doing e assessment,
specks of powder flew everywhere wen i wore e gloves.
hahah!
who cares. so long as i cn slip my fingers in smoothly.
and i was the 1st to be tested on dat day.
panicked quite abit,
i breathe heavily thru my mask.
and Ms Lai bew meng is a FUSSY lecturer.
bleahs....
overall, she passed me.
She said that i dint make any mistakes
but i still haf no confidence of maself.
PHEW. done. over. yay.

n yest we jus sat for our skills Theory ppr.
mcqs was shitty as usual,
short answer qns was a breeze.
dun wana elaborate much on it.
OVER. ya-hoo.

hmm...
well, not exactly all are over.
i stll haf anoder skills assessment nxt mon.
n dis tym, der's 4 or 5 skills.
eye dressing, irrigation, CLC, scrubbing, traction..
so early seh.
i haf no tym to practice!
i better watch the daym CBT like now!
hahahaha. slacker.
btw, i skipped lecture today.
why???
to watch this "interesting" CBT.
nyeh.

okay.
wen all of this assessments are FINALLY over,
den i can fully concentrate on my ICAs.
still hanging in mid air.
oh goody.
i so so so so so cnt wait
to do my FYP.
making a mothercraft package.
so intresting!
i cnt wait to film the video!
heheheh.
know any baby to kidnap anione?
just for our project dat is...

n why am i still blogging?
bcos i feel so lazy.
sposse to do CBT.
i better start NOW!

btw, did i mention?
im going gymming today!
hehehe.

i kept glancing on my fone jus now.
still no msg from him.
i miss u alot dear...
where are u?
wen are we meeting seh..

okay dah cukop nisa.
pegi blajar skarang.

2007-05-06T04:20:00.000-07:00

okay im free.
tym for a more detailed entry.
nyehs.

last tues went to bugis
to find our dear PENDEK a present.
we planned to buy a skirt.
bought for her a tight knee length skirt
but not too short. heheh.
contributed me the 4 gilers plus sis mala n siti..

went ard in search of wallet
for kint's uncle bdae prez.
den kint bought a new camera
tt costs 499bux(beb i noe u hate dis LOL)
wooooooooooo im so jeles of her okay.
we ate at long john
n goli had to leave early.(bubbler)
so me and kint went to shiq's hse
to slack n prepare for pendek's prez.
made her a card
specially designed by ME. =)
shiq's makcik n pakcik came by
n gosh her cousin is HOT.
make kint googoogaaagaa oni.
haha!
ate cheesecake (thnx beb)
n home sweet home.

at LJS. us.

do we look like we care??

the card made for pendek..

den on sat (yest)
celeb pendek's bdae.
planned to prank pendek by telling her
that kint n goli cnt make it.
so me n shiq met her 1st n we act tt
we're angry at them for bubbling us last min.
of course si pendek tk caye.
dey tot of surprising her at e cinema
BUT pendek saw dem dere 1st.
alarrrr PRANK TAK MENJADI.
hahaha!
watched spiderman 3.
worth the watch seh!
goli was getting sick n left early
so we went to border's coffeebean
to chill.
bought her a cake n sang a song.
glad she liked
the skirt + frame + card + cake + us!
hehehehe.
she smile so wide.
gigi maintain beb!
noone can fight ur darlie smile! haha
ps:
all of us wish u all e best in life.
may u find e rite guy n cepat kahwin! LOL
n grow taller pls! den we dun bully u. hehe.
n talk more!!! dont giggle ajer. chet!
alalala...
HAPPY BDAE!

bdae girl...

her cake//

the frame! from us to u...

*make someone smile today.

2007-05-03T01:50:00.000-07:00

heylo.

today is a no-school day.
today is E-Learning day.
hehs.
so im stuck at home downloading materials
doing assignments and watnots.
wahhhhh nisa sungguh rajin!!!
haha.
my life would be made easier IF
i have Microsoft Word at home.
so kental i noe. lol.
on top of dat,
i haf 7 graded ICA's to worry about.
earliest is due nxt wk and the latest at week 17.
oh heck.
and the pilling "mini" assignments to worry about.
and oso,
i haf lab skills theory and skills assessment nxt few wks
to worry about.
and oh the cuming NAPHA test
to worry about.
and the stuffs i wana buy but no money
to worry about.
dreads.
worry.
worry.
worry.
worry.
worry.

njweukofgerkgjelwgelgelkrgegknkqfbjkfidjkwqfklwf
dhwkfjkworrybjfowqfgknleoqgenejifnlwdmsnckejccn
ndjwilndwjncjwebvjeveiltoonsjobnxbdjqbwjfbjwefhjb
nhdkmuch!udhowbhskjdwfhweifnjwefnijdwelfewifhe

i just wana lie down on the sandy beach
looking up at the birds flying free,
feeling the soft wind against my cheeks,
hearing the calming sound of the waves
and being mesmerized by the beautiful blue sky.

i need a chill pill.

looking on the bright side,
i trained for NAPHA yest.
surprising yet true.
soooper refreshing.
my babats sure need a wake-up call.
i need my sweat to start pouring out.
i need the adrenaline rush.
i need the aches from both limbs.
i need to cleanse and purify my body system.
goodness!

honestly if i have all the time in e world,
i'd work my butt out every single day.
i wana get all my body mechanisms running.
in fact, i feel like getting out of dis lazy chair
and jump ard the house.
but hais.
sum things just hold me down.
i dont have a choice, do i?
haha!
EXCUSES.

im loving my new hairstyle.
minus the rosak split ends.
it's just sooooo different.
bye bye boring flat hair.
i love it. =)

i love you.
you love me.
we are happy family.
hais...
i totally miss my boyfriend.

2007-04-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

blogger has been a big pain in the *** lately.
hahahs.
as i was abt to spill new juices into ma blog,
it just HAD to make problems.
typed correct password
but still cnt log in. dang!
so had to resort to making a new one.
and watever i wanted to wrote in back den,
is now forgotten.
havent u heard?
-im such a forgetful person. =p

refresh.
on sat,
went to granny's hse to mt cuz n chill.
i soooo love my grandma can?
i miz her too.
n she was sick. hope she gets better...
went to perm my hair near dat area.
done by my mum's fren.
its a salon in her own hse.
how cool is dat!
ive owaes wanted a perm for a change.
im so bored of flat hair!
but to be honest im not too satisfied wif e result.
i wanted tendrils. but i got tight waves instead.
unsatisfied customer.
haiya.
owells. wats done is done.
i mite as well get use to it. hahas!

during the perming session. GOSH!

AFTER. how do i look?

so wadya tink? hehe.

of cos i haf to add sum wax to define dose curls.
bleahs!

then,
i went straight to sch to watch NYP Musical.
as i wasnt pleased wif ma hair,
i bunned it up so nobody wld notice.
n noone did!! hahahaha.
as i was late plus dear was EVEN late,
we oni get to watch the last 1/4 of the show.
but im grateful cos i managed to catch
the stagearters perform. haha
overall,
it was an effort paid off.
they truly shine. =)

makaning and lepak session wif
dear plus fellow stagearters + rock climber.
catch up on the old tymes.
flashback to e past.
where we had so much fun in dance back then.
nw im glad i haf smthn to look bck on poly life
once i graduate.
hehe!
love u guys.

n so tmr is labour day.
a day to appreciate workers out dere.
no school.
meanwhile i'll be searching for pendek's prez tmr
wif dose giler2 pple. LOL

and URGH.
I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANA TRADE
MY PHONE FOR A NEW ONE.
CAN I??

its getting on my nerves.
dear has been calling me but jus cnt get tru
cos of dis stupid fone.
=(
n i cant contact others at tyms too.
so wats the use of this fone?
MITE AS WELL THROW KAN?

bleahs.