{ Set them free.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

{ freed on 8:57 AM

im sittin in a corner
feeling alone
feeling like a bore
feeling like u dun care
feeling like ur not even dere
feeling tt ur heart's nt wif me
feeling tt ur nt even mine
feeling tt im jus anoder person
feeling tt im nt special
feeling seeked upon wen needed
feeling casted away wen not
feeling unprotected
feeling restless
feeling anxious
feeling ugly
feeling sooooo plain dumb.

its just feelings.
im jus afraid it may turn out real.

take a second n pause. to:
miss me
love me
care for me
be dere for me
think of me
understand me
just
appreciate me.

action speaks louder than words.
i used to think a certain way.
but now i think otherwise.

p.s readers dont ask me who what why when.
let it be unknown.
blog is jus a way to let out emotions.
thank you.

HAPPY BDAE XIAO JUAN!!

thanks seishen for the cake.
much loves....

Sunday, January 28, 2007

{ freed on 9:58 AM

thurs.
open house was okay.
not bad.
many i mean MANY people came.
i was out of LTJ2 n was lik,
eyyy byk nye org, i loike!
haha.
meriah n kecoh.
den we checked out the atrium.
gt lotsa performance la.
walk2 here n dere see see kaypo.
sposse to haf meetin den lik so sian.
met carmen n de gang
n pleaded not to haf meetin.
HAHA.
alahhhh once in a while rite.
finally she agreed.
sat dwn 2gether watch chinese orchestra.
kes takde keje.
but b4 dat, saw SA performed.
it was great.
*thumbs up*
dere's 3 items frm stagearts
bt we managed to watch one oni.
dey did 'holiday' locking.
i still rem the steps.
hehe.

din manage to watch n support
the StageArts drama tho.
sorry aisha, hasli, iskandar, faz.
but hey me n asz saw u guys practice!
it was great.
cool miming. =)

fri.
had lessons as usual.
missed sum performances
due to classes.
felt tt todae's crowd was lesser.
HAHA.
heard tis guy sayin,
"tk meriah sae skola kite"
aper krg ingat ni hari raye kape?
hahaha.
bt yeah its true.
later me fiona zaf wani
queued up for taufik's campus concert.
it was blardy long i tell u.
it starts at 6.
kint came ard 5.15 n she's at the FOURTH ROW.
we came ard 5.40 n duno wich row la.
haha.
it doesnt look like a row.
it snakes to duno where.
blardy hell.
but it was worth the wait.
tall+dark+handsome= Taufik.
he sang nice.
he danced great.
the crowd was wild.
it was a gud atmosphere.
tho im not much of his fan,
we had a blast.
anu n michelle hugged him lik wtf.
susma's gona kill u both.
haha!

p.s: taufik wasnt one of dose 3. haha.

sat.
came sch to support my dearest SA peeps.
came wif asz to watched hiphophunt.
Dance Inc was superbly awesome.
the crowd was cheering for dem
n i was lik, wow.
dis gerl bhind me screamed her lungs out
wich made me turned n stared.
HAHA.
dee fir y.s zee jingwei pris
u guys rawked the stage.
being 3rd, ur a winner.
=))
met all of dem n shared the hugs.
its such a warm feeling la.
esp josh. missed them lots!
stayed bck to watch dem pract
in dance studio.
esp loved the rock n roll item.
if ive to choose a partner,
mos prolly melvin. hehe!
or mayb josh bt i cnt stand his face.
make me laugh lik hell.
HAHA.

den met up wif mama n ibu n yantee sis.
shopping galore.
hehe. =))
walked in the rain lotsa times.
i jus loved the feeling.
but now look at me.
caught wif cold. sickly.
boo hoo.

i may be busy
but im never busy for him.
i hope he realises tt.
i jus cnt help bt be sad
by his words.
well its part n parcel of rlps.
dere mayb ups n downs.
someone once said,
"In rlps, either ur together or u break up.
lets not focus on wich of dose might happen.
focus on the process of being in love..."
wana thank him fer being patient all dose while.
tolerating my hot-tempered n sensitive nature.

sunday was spent
karaoke-ing wif family.
n i cooked my first few dishes.
hehe.
nuff saed.
i need a rest.
good nite..

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

{ freed on 9:10 PM

at times like this,
wen im totally free n bored,
will i b blogging.
in oder days i just cant b bothered la.
HAHA.
esp since dere's nt much things happening.
haas...

mm kays.
just nw we haf an interesting
clinical lab experience.
our mannequins haf nice eyes!
can move!
can 'breathe'!
can 'talk'!
haf vitals signs!
hahahs.
glad the sch invests in such stuffs.
it really stimulates those dummy
as REAL life patients.
not like the usuals
wif broken hands n legs
and disfigured faces.
kay i admit to drawing eyebrows
n eyeliners on them
but its aldy bad-looking
so it doesnt make much diff wat.
HAHA.
so where was i.
oh ya.
i was bhind the hidden walls
as an observer.
4 ppl was selected to be nurses
attending to dis patient(Ana)
whu just had a delivery.
They passed reports, assessed her,
bla bla like normal ward settings.
den Ana had postpartum Haemorrhage
n it was an emergency.
they had to inject medications,
prime IV solutions and set up drips.
plus administer oxygen therapy.
can see that it wasnt serious enough la.
HAHA.
dey can laugh and forget to 'talk'
to Ana tho she's jus a dummy.
cnt blame dem la.
Overall i can say tt i learnt lots.
just by spotting their mistakes.
should haf this thingy mre often.
den can better prepare maself
for the HARSH world outside.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
oh watever.

NYP open house on 25-27 Jan.
posters n banners everywhere.
ah time gini aru nk lawa2 ey.
normal days my sch looks so bleahhhs.
haha.
i spot dis cca poster near SHS block la.
got a pic of SA dancers while performing.
skali gt my pic inside.
malu sey.
my eyes so steamy like shit.
HAHAHA.
n ouh melvin look so handsome.
kay shush.
=))

ouh the joys of performing on stage.
how i miss those days...

someone commented that i gained weight.
my face was like stoned.
din expect tt cumin la.
den she say, "sorry ehhhhh."
like watever la.
an honest opinion.
its a true fact anws.
HAHA.
been eating more
than i should be burning dem off.
aaaahhhhhhhhhhh.
if ur a girl,
then u shld noe how im feeling.
haaaas.

missing ma baby tonight
the feelings just not right...

wish him all the best for his xams.
i noe he can do it......!

mine will catch up soon.
on valentine's day.
how sucky can it be.
hmmpt!!

ciaoz.

Friday, January 19, 2007

{ freed on 10:52 AM

school was kinda short.
lessons from 1-2pm.
hw fast was dat?
Hahax.

gyming was refreshing.
khatib was great.
brought a stupid kitchen towel
instead of sweat towels.
paisey ar.
haha.
i swore one guy looked like
nad's 'ayank' mr arief.
but nah.
HAHA.
we stretched
in the TOILET.
how 'cool' was dat.
ahakz.
had fun wif the regulars.
will cum again in future.
=)
played wif the rain
on the wae to the interchange.
drenched.
yeay.

met up wif kint n shiq.
shopping was entertaining.
dose two minas lurve to make me
feel n look blur.
stop it la kay.
bt actually i am ar.
hehe.
bought Dorothy Perkins' top.
On sale.
weee.
love at 1st sight:
1)a pretty watch.
bling blings.
i loike!
hehehe.
*got ma eyes on u*
dumdeedums.
2) black n pink bikini.
simple but sweet.
hate it wen i haf small tootsies tho.
make it look not-so-pretty-after-all wen
i wear them.
kay next.
ahahaha.

darn pms.
alwaes gets it days b4 ma menses.
*shoots*
nutella-smeared bread tastes yummy.
thick n fattening.
want some?

n ouh.
HAPPY 19TH BDAE TO ASZ
aka godzilla aka kecikia aka nurse.
gav her prez + personal wishes + frenster wishes.
n now, blog wishes.
hees.
luv ya babe.

im sleepy.
bantal missing me aldy.
kay good nite n sweet dreams....

Thursday, January 18, 2007

{ freed on 8:32 AM

im sad.
so sad.
dunoe why.
just sad.
haiz.

i like walking in the rain.
cos no one will know im crying.~

now then.
DEEP inhalations.
slowwww exhalations.
promote lung expansion.
filter off negative thoughts.
-repeat 10 times-
slightly better.
suck it in nisa.
u just have to suck it in.

everything's gonna be alright.....

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

{ freed on 3:55 AM

holla.
hehe.

now i feel mre relieved la.
all dose pesky projects over.
all dose tests over.
*breathe*
left wif 1 ICA plus final year papers.
alah dat one nxt month.
wait long long den study.
haha.
brbbbb.

gyming wif zaf jus now.
OoOOh so nice.
duno y im so high la.
working out releases happy hormones.
n dats y im happy now.
hehes.
den jus now a guy
offered me dis choc pastry
den muke slumber i took la.
end up he sae,
"da exercise mkn chocolate lak eyy. ish2."
haha.
dier yang offer.
pe je.
we signed up for kickboxing class.
nxt week i tink.
weeeee wana try smthn new.
wana join?
lols.

u wan a simple girl u sae?
i noe im not.
i noe i look like mina.
i noe i pluck eyebrows.
i noe i walk talk lik shit.
but i dun act like one.
n u noe dat.
a simple girl u want?
a simple girl u will get.
for me to be less jealous u say?
sure, im up for it.
from now on,
ill be the simplest-looking sweet, angellic girl
whu will nt get jealous easily.
whu will be so slumber.
like watever la.
HAHAHA.
anitin u say.
just for u.
but dun ever forget wat i told abt ya.
*winks.*
ilu syg.

recently im a huge fan of PCD.
Ooh i love their songs.
n their style.
their moves.
make me wana shake n go wild.
HAHA.
lurp dem!!
gosh i miss performing la.
shooo jazz. i hate u.
i wana dance like last tym can.
HAHAHA.

mmm.
taufik's cumin to NYP open hse.
yeayy.
my idol.
wana see him face to face.
if can take pikcha together damn gd la.
ehem jgn nk perasan.
hehs.
n hear him sing.
OoOh.
will be waitin fer tat.
kint amek kan aku ticket skali yerrrr.
syg kau.
=))

kay toodles!!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

{ freed on 1:48 AM

i need a chill pill badly.
cos im starting to hallucinate.
im seeing figures.
im hearing voices.
im feeling things.
oh shuddup nisa.
to make long story short,
im stressed up.
bleahs!

studied the whole night yest.
studying abt brains made
ma brain lose its function.
haha.
left wif nutrition n GIT.
research methods untouched yet.
fark it.
i dun feel lik opening ma books now even.
haha.
i feel lik sleeping in this cold nice weather.
cast tt books aside.
like watever arh.
nant mlm leh sambung alek.
to tink tt i haf only a day left.
n ive been eating non-stop.
for comfort and for boredom.
food is ma bestie.
it makes me feel good.
i feel so jiggly-wiggly.
feel like working out.
n ouh did i mention i miss my deary?
so ever the very much.
yest he din cntct me.
felt like i lost ma life.
turns out he forgot his hp.
phew.
i need a backrub.
and a cucumber fer my eyebags.
plus a warm lovely hug on top of dat.
n ouh a hot choc brownie wld be nice.

guess im talking rubbish.
babbling to maself has been part of me aldy la.
babble babble babble.
da lame buat keje macam gini ey.
kay stop it.

im addicted to my sweetest drug
and dts you.
i need u.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

{ freed on 1:30 AM

so sad.
currently no net access at homie sia.
bleahs!!
but nvm.
hopefully it lasts for a while oni.
i just cnt live w/o it.
hehe.

nw at nana's house.
helping her to do
her patient education project.
haha.
kisah lamer sae tt module.
old story..
glad mine is over and done wif.
phew.
saw some GROSS HIV infected pics.
nana, suke ey kau tgk aku shriek in disgust.
HAHA.
ewww.
and now just slacking awae.
n missing my dearyy shooo much.
sighs.*

last fri went out wif deary
to watch movie School of Scoundrels.
it wasnt exactly the exact movie tt i wanted.
but anws, it was better den i expected.
u guys better go watch it.
a mix of humour, mischief and touching scenes.
i give it 4 stars.
hehehe.
tt fri outing wif deary
was memorable.
=))

yest supposedly planned
to go out wif dance peeps.
BUT
dee last min cldnt make it.
HAHA.
she was the one telling us
to not to miss it
but in the end ape plak jadi.
hees.
but nvm.
totali understandable gurl.
n not to worry im not angry.
hehehehe.
nxt tym make sure kays.
DUN BUBBLE US AGAIN.
oh how i missed u guys.
=p

at night went to masjid al-khair
for a kenduri silat wif nana.
saw shikin USS and she nearly
din recognise me.
she said,
"pegi masjid jumpe saper je, laki ke pompan har?"
lols.
den 1st tym saw me wif tudung.
HAHA.
gooood food dere.
plus nana's mum's pizza.
yummmmmmmayyy!!
i ate fer like,
2 or 3 rounds?
shhhhhhh.
firdaus(nana's bro)
getting more gd-looking.
dis goes out to my sis
whu once said tt he looked so kental.
HAHAHA.

the black and white affair.

my durian cake. ey it was NICE okay!

peace sign plus banana. kay kte da start merepek.

adiew pple.

Friday, January 05, 2007

{ freed on 11:00 PM

kay back.
during those boring and free tyms.
NOW i shall blog in peace.
hehehe.

flashback.

mon:
nutin much.
stayed at home and slacked wif ma family.
at night went out wif sis
in search of new pants.
gosh im soooo cerewet.
only pple whu goes shopping wif me
noes how it feels.
such a bore i guess.
wen i keep trying every pants
and end up leaving every store wifout
buying any.
HAHAHA.
typical me.
well finally i got the pants
i wanted.
weee.
and also i cut ma fringe.
wasnt wat i expected but pffbt.
as i mentioned earlier i AM cerewet.
lols.

Tues:
went out wif ma dearest.
went to sentosa wif him
as it was donkey years since
i stepped there.
and of course i was blur as usual.
nisa nisa.
hahs.
he brought his guitar along.
n whoa nice-lookin guitar i shld sae.
hees.
dearest boyfee singing songs on guitar + beautiful sunset view = heaven.
hehehe.
i had a sweet evening.
enjoyed every moments wif hym.
hahs.
reached home near to 1am n was nagged at.
HAHAHA.
but dt doesnt matter la.
wad matters is the quality tym spent.
=)

wed:
SCHOOL STARTS.
tutorials, practicals,
blardy blah blah.
Clinical theory test.
was tricky but manageable.
hees.

thurs:
Major Depression grp presentation.
shaky bt we sailed thru.
i acted as TV commercial girl.
Ms kathleen commented that
our group had gd facts and roleplay was
interesting.
especially the TV part.
=))
happy happy.
den later,
The clinical practical assessment.
MATI MATI MATI.
had to study for alot of skills.
lavage, gastric aspiration, NGT, catheterisation,
gastrostomy, bladder washout.
mampos.
den tym assessment so kanchiong i tell u.
i was assessed on catheterisation + gloving.
n i got Mr Ibrahim as ma lecturer!!!!
i loike sia!
he was so nice la.
hehehehe.
he commented that i was
kinda slow and haf low self-confidence.
nonetheless i noe my skills right and i spoke well.
hahaha.
I PASSED.
thank goodness.
sumpah that night i slept
lenyak nak mampos.
hahaha.
felt like a burden lifted off
ma shoulders.
2 down, many more to go.

fri:
TODAY.
nutin much.
skipped bio tutorial.
hahaha.
seems like half the class cabot sia.
well we dun require MC i guess.
tts why all naek berani.
hahs.
goin out wif deary later.
weeee.

kay den.
tts all the flashback for this weekdaes.
hope ma weekends will be good.
will go out wif dance peeps.
yahooooo.
rindu korang.

kay outs!!!
take care pple.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

{ freed on 4:06 PM

ALAH NARI DA START SKOLAAAAAAAA.

pfffffpppt.

gosh i sound so primary school.
hehe~

p.s.will update more wen free yeap.
dun miss me.

Monday, January 01, 2007

{ freed on 9:17 AM

happy 2007 everyone.
and Selamat Hari Raya Haji.
hehehehe.

wat a hectic 2006 it has been.
a year had passed,
but it seems like a day.
365 days GONE just lidat.
whoooosh.
hahs!

2006 made me grow.
grow up into a more mature person.
made me smile
made me laugh
made me cry
made me angry
and a whole range of other emotions.
hees.
The pieces of broken glass
that i had stepped on
had made me want to avoid it
and made me a more careful person.
Thoa it hurts and it healed
but they left behind scars
that are visible and hard to conceal.

I gained new friends
wich i dun ever expect to be dat much close.
I lost old friends
wich i dun ever expect to be forgotten.
Sometyms it feels like
i have the greatest company
but sometyms it feels like
i dont have any friends at all.

I gained more knowledge and skills
in the course of study tt i loved.
I lost the fun and joy
dancing and performing wich i loved.

I was loved, hurt, loved,
hurt and loved again.
My heart wich used to be warm and tender,
had frozen into ice cold and hard matter.
U showed me how fragile love can be
and how much it needs to be treasured.
Thank You my Dear.

I've gained lotsa tings,
but i've lost lotsa things too.
Behind every cloud there's a silver lining
or
setiap benda yg berlaku ada hikmah disebaliknya.
or
there's a positive behind every negative.
or
there's a reason for everiting.
hees.
Thats the phrases tt help me
live my life the way im living now.
pushing maself forward.
dust maself up,
brush the dirt off,
get up, chin up
move on.

hehe.
what an unexpected year it was.
watever it is,
i appreciate everyone who
was, still is and will always be there for me.
The lovely and warm company
i received.
YOU made me into a better person.
YOU helped me get thru dis.
muackzzzz~!

some flashbacks of 2006...
bittersweet moments. ehem ehem.

hehe.
only SOME sneak peaks.
to bad cannot post all pics.
HAHA.

Have a terrific 2007 Ya'll.
God Bless.