THE BONCHET-NESS IS BACK.

Its times like this when im home most of the time. and when my brain is totally unoccupied. and i get to munch. wich means the scale is gona hit over 50 soon. gone are the days when i can wear dose body-hugging tops la ehh. pass down kat adek sudah. da mcm shrink je. nak go gym punyelah m.a.l.a.s. hehs.

and ohhh. i just came back from overnight-ing at east coast and......my skin is DARKER. im not a fan of the sun. later my baby fairer than me how? how HOW? drats.

haiz. please stop whining nisa.

and dammit i din get the job at AH. "we were impressed by ur vast experience but we regret to inform that we could not employ u at this time. we will consider ur resume when there are vacancies in future." -wateverr..

jus praying that i could get SGH... and meanwhile get a part-time job soon........

how i wish money falls from the sky. takya keje. kan best.

Do you still remember me? The teary-eyed girl who would sulk in a corner leaving things to fate. The girl who used to envy every loving couple who hugged by the street. The girl who used to wonder, " When im in a relationship, im alone and sad. same goes when im single. does it make any difference?" The girl who was made an object to be experimented with. The girl with an incredible sense of patience being dragged down low but still surviving on false hopes. The girl who is not worth to love and be loved.

Dear God,

As im laying down my words, my spirits gradually lifted. Nothing can wipe the smile off my face; not now, not ever. I could feel myself being a much happier person. I could breathe again. I dont recall being the girl who drowned herself writing sad entries in her journals. Who is she? Im a whole new person now. People say i've changed, in a good way that is.

Dear God,

You brought someone into my life just when i was about to crumble. He mended my broken heart and eased my pain. He touched me with his sincerity. He was sweet with words, humble and loyal. He dedicated his time and showered me endless surprises. He never fails to melt my heart. Most importantly, he place me above himself. He is everything in my life. I wouldnt ask for anything more.

Dear God,

Thank you for answering my prayers each night. Im blessed to have met him in my life. He brought back the faith in me that true love does exist.

The surprise bracelet on 12.2.08.... The surprise bouquet on 14.2.08....

PS: It's been 8months and my love for u is going strong.. Everyday is valentine's day for us dear.. muacks...

occupied with final stages of PRCP and of course, no internet assess at home. hees.

so guess what? I PASSED. woohoo.

it was a gruelling week.

the look on her face makes me weak. makes me freak out, find and dig a hole to bury myself in. i admit im weak in my pharmacology and theories. she threw questions at me but sadly all i could do was stare blankly at her. from then onwards, she preyed on me and came to my ward to assess me nearly everyday. she left out some of my other friends wich i tink is unfair. why am i her only target? screw her. as days went by, i find myself more confident to face her. im not very good with words, and im soft-spoken with higher authorities, but i tried my very best to sound knowledgeable in our conversation. bebual hembus jer tak kasi dier chance sehh. i damn blooody wana prove to her that im not as dumb as she tink i am. ( cos i tink that sum other people are weaker but she just closed one eye.) she asked me about all my patients that im in-charged of for the day; their diagnosis, chief complaints, past history, investigations done, nursing managements, medications etc.. i speak whatever that i could remember of my 10 patients. the look on her face changed the minute i could answer what is Coronary Angiogram. :) guess all those hardwork researching before and after work do paid off. to be honest, she did make me improve by all those head-knockings. nyehs.

i gave a thank-you card and a simple flower to Nuraini, my preceptor. she has become my buddy cum mentor as well. Im blessed to have a preceptor who is willing to guide me through those 3 months.

and i gave a box of chocolates to Mr Ang, my ward nurse manager cum brother. he never gave up on me and gave me me support and encouragements to pull through. a warm handshake was the least to show my gratitude. he gave me a Hi-5 when knowing that i passed. :)

thanks to all other ward staffs, nurses, doctors, MSW, other allied healthcare team, HCA's, PCA's and housekeepers in ward 4.they make me feel welcomed and i feel like part of a family.

thanks to my baby who spent time researching information while i had no internet connection. those words u pronounced was funny though. hehe. Amlodipine is pronounced as Am-low-dee-peen not Am-low-dee-pee-ney. blueks.

for now, im waiting for my interview in AH. still considering to join other hospitals like NUH. in May, i will graduate out from NYP. woo hoo. in a way, i miss life in school. and no doubt i miss dance esp the StageArters. :(

to a dear babe of mine, dont give up hope. i know its a sucky feeling and u felt cheated. hopefully ur letter of appeal to pass this PRCP posting will be accepted kay. i will pray for u gal.

aites. meeeting the three musketters now. adios!