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Name: nisaaini (niSa)
Age: 19 years young
Date of Birth: september12 1988
Horoscope Sign: virgo

I am worth, $98756,190
nisa_aini16@hotmail.com
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Sunday, April 01, 2007

{ freed on 6:37 AM

every life has an end.
the young, the old,
strangers or even ur loved ones.

i must be strong.
i must learn to let go.

SAT 31/03/07
i had plans wif dear bt it was cancelled.
mayb it happened for a reason.
mayb GOD wanted sumting else to happen.

met mum n sis.
after walking ard causeway,
mum suggested to go cik Madi's hse soon after.
she wanted to see grandma.
i was shocked as i din noe she was discharged.
knowing her condition,
i was curious why she wasnt bein
monitored closely in hospital instead.

i can vividly remember.
upon reaching dere,
as usual we went straight to see grandma.
her NGT still intact n she was breathin hard.
she lookied very pale.
her mouth was foamy.
wen i asked the maid,
she said its 'normal'.
Cik Madi asked me to check her pulse.
as i alwaes did everytime i visit her.
told him tt i cnt feel her pulse
wen i checked her right hand.
he asked me to check her left hand,
in a joking manner.
in my position, i cnt reach the oder hand
so he said,
"sha nak pakcik panggil taxi bwk sha dtg sblah sini?"
we laughed.
NOBODY tot THAT laughter can bring tears.
den i cldnt feel anitin on her left wrist either.
i started to panic.
i looked at nenek,
n saw tears flow down her cheek.
suddenly her hard breathing come to a stop.
i called out to her.
checked her radial, brachial and carotid pulse.
felt for the air from her nostrils.
nothing.
everyone ard me asked me the same question.
"ader tak sha???"
i stood dere numb.
i was hoping for a single beat of pulse in my mind
but there was clearly none.
all i can say was,
"cha tak tau... cha tak sure..."
den one by one started crying.
mom, dad, aunt, sis..
dey asked me the same qn over n over.
"ADER TAK SHA???"
n den i started to cry too.
asked my aunt to called SCDF
and dey came soon after.
i was praying so hard.
i wanted to prove them wrong.
dey told us,
no breathing n no pulse present.
dats when dey asked whether
we want dem to resuscitate her,
or let her go and redha.
it was a hard decision.
we had to let her go...

it was barely 5mins wen we came to see her.
n now she's gone..
dad told us that grandma was waitin for us
before she took her last breath.
she knew we were coming.
she KNEW we were there by her side..

it was the most agonising moment n my life.
someone i love, someone whus dear to me..
but its all GOD's will,
He loves her more then we do.
and its all fated that we get to witness
the last moments of her life.
by her side,
her sons...
her daughter in laws..
and also her grandchildren..

as im typing dis entry,
i cldnt hold back my tears.
it was heart-wrenching
to recall it all back.
i know i had to be strong.
i know i had to let go.
nek...
chacha sayang nenek...
moga Allah mencucuri roh nya.
Amin.

thanks to dear n frens who showed concern to me.
i really appreaciate it..